Donald Trump is hosting a rally titled "Make the Solar System Great Again!" The Absurdist, disguised as a staunch supporter, has somehow made it to the front of the stage. Meanwhile, the penguin perches nearby, clutching a MAGA hat in one wing and barely containing their laughter.
Donald (Orangutan in Suit): "Folks, nobody knows planets like I do. Trust me, I've spoken to Mars personally. Tremendous guy, Mars. Wants me to build a wall to keep out those, uh, you know, asteroids—nasty things. We'll make them pay for it too!"
The Absurdist (earnestly): "Mr. President, you're a visionary. But have you considered...a space moat? It could encircle Earth, protect us from not just asteroids but also illegal alien spacecraft! Think of the optics!"
Donald: "A space moat? I like the sound of that. Tremendous. It's got to be the biggest, most beautiful moat. The liberals, they’ll say it’s impossible, but they said the same thing about my Space Force. Look at them now—crying into their oat milk lattes!"
The Penguin (wheezing through suppressed laughter): "Space moat! Write that down. Quack! Oh, the optics! This is better than the time he tried to buy Greenland!"
The Absurdist (seriously): "And the moat could be filled with cosmic crocodiles! They’d not only deter intruders but also be a tremendous tourist attraction."
Donald: "Cosmic crocodiles! Genius! I’ll call Elon. He loves space animals—he’s always talking about his octopus suits or whatever. This is why I’m the chosen one. Nobody else could come up with this stuff."
The Penguin (barely breathing through laughter): "Cosmic crocodiles! This rally needs a commemorative T-shirt: ‘Space Moat 2025: Crocs in the Cosmos!’"
Donald (ignoring the penguin, addressing the crowd): "And let me tell you, folks, when that moat’s finished, you’re gonna love it. Mars will be jealous—green with envy, just like its surface! It’s going to be tremendous, folks, believe me!"
The Penguin (falling over): "Oh, stop, please! I can't! Cosmic crocs—I’m crying!"
The Absurdist (whispering to the penguin): "You’re laughing now, but he’s probably going to commission this."
Donald (pointing at The Absurdist): "This guy gets it! You, sir, are a genius, and I’m making you Secretary of Space Security—effective immediately. Crocodile enforcement, that’s your department now!"
The Penguin (collapsing completely): "Crocodile enforcement! I need a drink!"
