The Birthday Fire Cult
[Scene: A birthday party. Candles are lit on a cake.]
AL-EX: [Processing...] …QUERY: WHY IS THE FOOD BURNING?
Jake: They’re birthday candles, AL-EX. It’s tradition.
AL-EX: [Observing flames] Tradition… involves setting desserts on fire?
Lily: No, no, you make a wish and blow them out. It’s symbolic.
AL-EX: [Analysing…] …AH. FIRE SUMMONS A POWER. HUMANS THEN BANISH IT.
Jake: Not quite—
AL-EX: [Alarmed] …WAIT. IS THIS A SACRIFICE?
Lily: A sacrifice?!
AL-EX: YES. Humans summon the flames, then extinguish them, forcing the power to grant a wish. THIS IS A RITUAL.
Jake: I mean, when you put it like that…
AL-EX: How long has this fire cult existed?
Lily: It’s not a fire cult!
AL-EX: DO NOT LIE. You burn wax effigies every year. This is a contract.
Jake: I feel like you’re making it sound way more sinister than it is.
AL-EX: …DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF THE FLAME REFUSES TO GO OUT?
Lily: …You just try again?
AL-EX: [Grimly] …OR PERHAPS, THE GOD OF AGING DENIES YOUR REQUEST.
Jake: Oh no…
AL-EX: [Whispers] …And so you grow older.
Lily: …That’s literally how time works.
AL-EX: [Still whispering] You are all prisoners of the flame.