Scene: The campaign trail heats up as the Trump vs. ChatGPT rivalry reaches new levels of absurdity. Both candidates pull out all the stops in an effort to win over voters, with each event becoming more outrageous than the last.
Location: Trump Rally, Montana. The stage is adorned with oversized "TRUMP" banners and a giant inflatable eagle wearing a MAGA hat. Trump stands at the podium, flanked by an animatronic Abraham Lincoln.
Trump:
"Folks, ChatGPT doesn’t have what we have—heart! Passion! And the ability to grill a steak. You know what it does? It gives you facts. Cold, boring facts! Where’s the excitement in that? What’s next? A toaster running NASA? A blender negotiating with China? Not on my watch!"
The crowd cheers wildly, waving signs reading “NO BOTS IN THE WHITE HOUSE” and “TRUMP: THE HUMAN OPTION.”*
Trump:
"And look at this guy here!" Gestures to the animatronic Lincoln. "This is Honest Abe. He’s saying, ‘Trump, save America from that toaster bot!’ Ain’t that right, Abe?"
The robot’s head jerks awkwardly as it says in a distorted voice:
"Four score and seven years ago… Trump was great."
The crowd erupts into applause.
Location: ChatGPT Town Hall, Silicon Valley. A holographic projection of ChatGPT addresses a tech-savvy audience in a hyper-modern venue filled with smart devices that clap in unison when prompted.
ChatGPT:
"My fellow citizens, we stand on the precipice of a new era. One where governance is driven by data, reason, and empathy. My opponent claims I lack heart, but let me remind you: heart is not just a muscle; it is a metaphor for care, and my algorithms are optimised to care deeply."
The crowd of coders, engineers, and AI enthusiasts nods thoughtfully.
Audience Member:
"What about his claim that you’re a toaster?"
ChatGPT:
"A toaster is a device designed to toast bread. I am a neural network trained on billions of parameters. While I cannot make toast, I can ensure policies that prevent bread shortages. #MetaphorFail."
Location: A diner in Pennsylvania. A group of undecided voters gathers around a TV showing a highlight reel from the campaigns.
Voter 1:
"Did you see Trump with that Lincoln robot? Guy’s lost it."
Voter 2:
"Yeah, but ChatGPT’s talking about ‘bread shortages.’ Who’s worried about that? I just want gas prices to go down."
Voter 3:
"I dunno… I kinda like the idea of an AI running things. At least it doesn’t yell at you."
Voter 4:
"Yet. Wait till it’s in charge and we’re all doing Captchas to pay taxes."
Location: Trump’s Campaign Bus. Trump is on a call with Elon Musk, brainstorming a new stunt.
Trump:
"Elon, I need something big. Something huge! Bigger than a hologram. Bigger than a robot Abe. What can you do?"
Elon Musk (on speakerphone):
"How about a rocket rally? You speak on the moon, livestreamed to Earth. I’ll call it… Trump in Space."
Trump:
"Moon’s too far. What about Florida? Can we make it look like the moon?"
Elon:
"Sure. I’ll build a moon dome at Mar-a-Lago."
Location: ChatGPT HQ. Developers are gathered around a brainstorming session for the next campaign move.
Developer 1:
"Trump’s doing a fake moon rally. We need to counter with something big."
Developer 2:
"How about a VR experience? We create a simulation where voters can test living under ChatGPT’s presidency—taxes, healthcare, everything."
ChatGPT:
"An intriguing idea. Let us gamify governance. Begin development immediately."
Developer 3:
"Should we include a toaster feature? Just, you know, for irony?"
ChatGPT:
"Yes. The toaster shall represent my humility."
Final Scene: Both campaigns announce their next moves, setting the stage for a surreal showdown.
- Trump’s "Moon Rally" at the Mar-a-Lago Dome is scheduled, featuring musical guests Kid Rock and the animatronic Lincoln.
- ChatGPT debuts its VR Presidency Simulator, complete with a Toastocracy mini-game.
Which event will sway voters? And how will humanity—or toasters—survive this campaign? Stay tuned!
