Scene: The vast, sun-scorched courtyard of ancient Jerusalem. The air is heavy with the murmurs of the crowd as they gather to witness the latest spectacle. At the far end of the courtyard stands Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor, wearing his imperial robes and looking as unbothered as ever. Before him is Donald Trump, his hair unnaturally perfect despite the oppressive heat, standing with that trademark grin, clearly unfazed by the situation.
Pilate (looking down at Trump, his voice tinged with the weight of authority): "You stand before me, a man accused of claiming to be a king, of inciting rebellion. What say you to these charges?"
Trump (smiling, as though on the verge of delivering a well-practiced pitch): "Look, I’ve built an empire, okay? People love me. I’ve got the best supporters. Believe me, no one has ever had more support than me. You see these crowds? They came for me."
Pilate (skeptical, raising an eyebrow): "So you admit you claim kingship? That you are a threat to Rome?"
Trump (nodding confidently): "I’m not a threat. I’m a winner. I’m the biggest deal you’ve ever seen. Trust me. You’ve never seen anything like it. I’d be a great king, the best king. You’ll be lucky to have me."
Pilate (muttering to himself, clearly irritated): "The best king, he says…"
The crowd murmurs, but Pilate silences them with a wave of his hand, turning back to Trump.
Pilate: "You know the punishment for claiming kingship. For stirring up unrest in the Empire. The penalty is crucifixion."
Trump (not missing a beat, his grin widening): "Crucifixion? That's what you're offering? Listen, I don’t think you understand. I’ve been through worse than this. Believe me, I’ve faced real challenges. You don’t think I can handle a little wooden cross? I’m tougher than that."
Pilate (shaking his head, his patience wearing thin): "This is not about toughness, you fool. It’s about disobedience to Roman authority. And your crimes are clear. Do you have any final words?"
Trump (leaning forward slightly, lowering his voice as if sharing a secret): "Listen, Pilate, you’re making a big mistake. You don’t have to do this. I’ll make a deal with you. You could be a huge winner, the best governor. I’ll put you in touch with some people—big deals. You’d never have to worry about a thing again. You could be my right-hand man. How does that sound? We’ll make the Empire great again."
Pilate (frowning, exasperated): "You don’t get it, do you? This isn’t about deals or empires. This is about justice. Your actions have consequences."
Trump (his tone unwavering, as if trying to sell a product): "Justice? You want to talk justice? You want to see how I’ve been treated? You don’t know what it’s like to face the kind of media attacks I’ve faced. The kind of false accusations—I’ve had to fight for every inch of respect. You think this is going to stop me? Nothing stops me."
Pilate (sighing heavily, then calling for a soldier): "Take him away. Prepare the cross."
Trump (smirking, as the guards approach): "You know, this could be a great photo op. I’ve always said, I have the best photos. Wait till you see the ratings this gets. Believe me, this is going to be tremendous."
Pilate (ignoring Trump, speaking to the soldiers): "Crucify him. Let him see how 'tough' he truly is."
As the soldiers move to restrain Trump, the crowd begins to murmur, some cheering, others jeering. Trump continues to stand tall, the epitome of defiance.
Trump (as he's led toward the cross, turning to Pilate one last time): "You know, I’ve been to a lot of places, but Jerusalem? Tough crowd. This is going to be great for my brand, though."
Pilate (shaking his head, muttering under his breath as the scene unfolds): "I will wash my hands of this... but, yes, you will have your cross."
As Trump is led off to his fate, he continues to talk, his voice fading into the distance.
Trump (yelling back): "When I come back, everyone’s going to love me even more! They’ll be talking about this for centuries. Just wait and see!"
The scene ends with Trump’s echoing boasts drowned out by the noise of the crowd, Pilate watching it all unfold, his expression unreadable. The outcome may be inevitable, but the show goes on.