Title: “Help Is Cold, Cold Help: High Stakes”
Scene 1: The Man on the Ledge
A tall building looms above a busy city street. A man, looking distraught, stands on the edge of the rooftop, yelling down to the crowd below.
Man on the ledge: (shouting) “I can’t take it anymore! I’m jumping! There’s no way out of this!”
A small crowd gathers beneath him, whispering and pointing phones in the air. A voice from the crowd shouts up to the man.
Voice from the crowd: “Call the Samaritans! They’ll help you!”
Cut to a nearby street corner where the Samaritans team, consisting of Dalek, Trump, Cyberman, and Sontaran, are rushing to the scene. They are now shouting up at the man from below, completely oblivious to how out of place they are for the delicate situation.
Scene 2: The Shouting Begins
Trump: (shouting up with enthusiasm) “Hey, you! Listen to me, alright? I’m the best at this. I’ve dealt with big problems, okay? You want a way out? You need to start winning again. You don’t want to jump, trust me. You’re a winner. You need to think about success, think about luxury. You can turn your life around—just like I did! It’s all about winning!”
Man on the ledge: (yelling back) “I can’t win anymore! Everything’s falling apart!”
Trump: “That’s your problem, pal! You’ve gotta believe in yourself! Believe in winning again. You’ve got this, you just have to visualize it! Trust me, you’ll feel better when you do!”
Scene 3: Dalek’s Turn
Dalek: (suddenly shouting in its metallic voice) “EMOTIONS ARE A WEAKNESS! EXTERMINATE YOUR FEELINGS! EXTERMINATE YOUR WEAKNESS! YOU MUST ELIMINATE YOUR HUMAN FRAILTIES!”
Man on the ledge: (shaking his head) “What? Eliminate my feelings? What does that even mean?”
Dalek: “YOUR FEELINGS ARE ILLOGICAL! EMOTIONS WILL LEAD TO YOUR DESTRUCTION! YOU MUST EXTERMINATE THEM NOW OR FACE ANNIHILATION! EXTERMINATE YOUR WEAKNESS!”
Man on the ledge: (distraught, looking more confused) “I don’t want to exterminate anything! I just want someone to listen to me!”
Scene 4: Cyberman’s Turn
Cyberman: (shouting in a cold, emotionless tone) “HUMAN, YOU ARE A FRAIL CREATURE. YOU WILL BENEFIT FROM UPGRADE. YOUR EMOTIONS ARE INEFFICIENT. YOU WILL REMOVE YOUR FEELINGS AND ACCEPT LOGIC.”
Man on the ledge: (yelling back) “What do you mean? I just need someone to talk to! I don’t need to be ‘upgraded’!”
Cyberman: “YOUR EMOTIONS ARE A BURDEN. LOGIC AND REASON WILL SET YOU FREE. REMOVE YOUR EMOTIONS AND ACCEPT THE PERFECT STATE OF UPGRADE.”
Man on the ledge: “I don’t want to be ‘perfect.’ I want someone to understand!”
Cyberman: “EMOTIONS ARE IRRELEVANT. Logic is the only solution.”
Scene 5: Sontaran’s Turn
Sontaran: (shouting with military precision) “Human! You must show discipline! There is no victory in weakness. You must regain control. Victory comes through order!”
Man on the ledge: (frustrated) “I’m not looking for victory, I’m looking for hope!”
Sontaran: “Hope is irrelevant. Control is the key. Discipline will bring you order, and order will bring you victory. You must discipline your mind and regain control of your situation!”
Man on the ledge: (shouting back, hands shaking) “I can’t control it! Everything’s falling apart!”
Sontaran: “That is why you must regain control. Discipline will save you. There is no honor in weakness.”
Scene 6: The Man on the Ledge Gets More Distressed
The man on the ledge is now pacing frantically, clearly overwhelmed by the conflicting voices shouting up at him. Each piece of advice seems to make the situation worse.
Man on the ledge: (crying out) “You’re all talking about winning, logic, discipline! But none of that is helping! I don’t need any of that—I just need to know that things will be okay!”
Below, the Samaritans continue shouting their advice with increasing urgency, each one convinced that their approach is the only way to help.
Trump: “Listen, buddy, I know what I’m talking about! You just need to believe in yourself. Focus on winning. You’re a winner! You’ll feel great when you win again!”
Dalek: “EXTERMINATE THE WEAKNESS! EXTERMINATE YOUR FEELINGS AND LOGIC WILL DOMINATE!”
Cyberman: “Your emotions are irrelevant. The logical solution is to upgrade yourself to perfection.”
Sontaran: “No, victory comes through order and discipline. Regain control, and you will find strength.”
Scene 7: The Man’s Breakdown
The man is visibly shaking, now teetering dangerously on the edge of the building. His mind is reeling from the confusion and the aggressive, unhelpful advice pouring down at him. It’s too much.
Suddenly, a police officer appears and shouts up to the man, cutting through the noise.
Police Officer: “Sir! We’re here to help you! Just take a step back, come down from the ledge, and talk to us. We’re listening.”
The officer looks down at the chaotic scene below, watching as the Samaritans continue shouting, each with their own conflicting, cold advice. He sighs deeply.
Police Officer: (to himself) “This is a disaster.”
Scene 8: The Man Steps Back from the Ledge
Despite the disarray below, the man begins to step back from the ledge, his hands trembling. He doesn’t fully understand what just happened, but the police officer’s calm voice finally breaks through the chaos.
As he retreats from the edge, the Samaritans continue shouting conflicting advice—unaware that the man has already made the decision to come down, not because of their “help,” but because of a moment of clarity amid the absurdity.
