Make North Korea Great Again
Scene: Inside Trump Tower, Trump stands triumphantly in front of a giant screen that displays a map of North Korea. Around him are his loyal advisors, including Elon Musk, who’s busily sketching plans for Mars in his notebook while trying to appear engaged. Trump is pacing around with a grin that can only mean one thing: another huge idea.
Trump:
(grinning, with a twinkle in his eye)
“Alright folks, we’ve made America great, we’ve made China great, we’ve made Russia great, and now, it’s time to make North Korea great again. It’s going to be huge. You won’t believe it. People are going to talk about it for centuries.”
Advisor 1:
(stifling a laugh)
“North Korea, sir? That’s... well, that’s quite a... unique choice.”
Trump:
(sharply)
“Unique? No, no. It’s going to be legendary. I’m talking big, the biggest thing to ever happen to North Korea. Trust me, folks, I know the best way to get things done. The best. It’s gonna be huge.”
Elon:
(raising his head from his sketches)
“Yeah, sure, North Korea. I think we could do a massive Tesla launch there. Imagine an electric car race, through the mountains—huge potential!”
Trump:
(excited)
“Exactly, Elon! That’s what I’m talking about. We’re going to show the world how to do North Korea right. Forget what anyone thinks—they’re gonna love it. Believe me.”
Trump walks over to a giant binder labeled “MAKE NORTH KOREA GREAT AGAIN: THE PLAN.” With a flourish, he slams it down on the table.
Trump:
“We start with a name change. It’s too simple, too old. It’s time for a rebrand. We’re going to call it Trumplandia! People will say, ‘Wow, that’s a name that screams greatness!’”
Advisor 2:
(eyeing him cautiously)
“Trumplandia, sir? Isn’t that... a little on the nose?”
Trump:
(waving it off)
“On the nose? It’s perfect! People are gonna love it. Believe me, folks, Trumplandia sounds fantastic. The best name. No one’s ever had a name like that.”
The advisors exchange nervous glances, but nobody dares to challenge the great leader. Meanwhile, Elon Musk is furiously typing on his phone, his face lit up with the glow of another idea.
Elon:
(excited)
“Think about it—if we make Trumplandia the most advanced, most tech-forward place in the world, we could build a SpaceX colony there. We can launch rockets from the capital. Imagine, sir, rockets blasting off as the new national sport!”
Trump:
(eyes lighting up)
“Rockets! Yes, that’s what I’m talking about, Elon! Huge rockets. And we’ll make them the best rockets. Nobody’s seen rockets like these. I’ll build a Trump rocket stadium. People will come from all over the world just to watch our rockets take off. It'll be the biggest event every year.”
Advisor 1:
(nods)
“You could hold the world’s first Rocketlympics, sir. A competition between nations. Of course, North Korea—uh, Trumplandia—would host the best rockets.”
Trump:
(excitedly)
“Exactly! I love it. Rocketlympics—people will love it. It’ll be the biggest competition in the world. Huge. We’ll have the best athletes. The best technology. Everything will be the best.”
Trump paces around the room, clearly revelling in his own genius. He pulls out a giant map of Trumplandia, now drawn with bold, exaggerated borders.
Trump:
“We’re also going to have a Trump Tower in every city. But not just any tower, no no. We’ll build towers with golden roofs. It’s gonna be golden everywhere. Trumplandia is going to sparkle. People will look up at the sky and think, ‘Wow, that’s the greatest place on Earth!’”
Advisor 2:
(confused)
“But sir, aren’t most of the buildings in North Korea... well, not exactly... gold?”
Trump:
(dismissively)
“Gold’s a symbol, folks. A symbol of greatness. When people see gold, they know it’s the best. Nobody’s ever seen anything like it. Believe me.”
Elon, who’s clearly lost in thought about the logistics of building a gold-plated rocket, continues adding to his notebook, unaware of what’s unfolding around him.
Trump:
(eyes glinting with a sudden thought)
“And here’s the biggest idea: we’ll host the Miss Trumplandia beauty pageant. But not just any pageant. It’ll be the biggest pageant, the best pageant. We’ll have it live-streamed to the world. Trump’s going to be the judge. And every contestant gets to wear a golden sash that says ‘I Am Trump.’”
Advisor 1:
(trying to hide his excitement)
“A beauty pageant with golden sashes? That’s... a big move, sir.”
Trump:
(proudly)
“You bet it’s a big move. We’re gonna make Trumplandia the most glamorous country. Everyone’s going to want to move there. It’s going to be luxurious. And the best part? They’ll all be grateful for it. They’ll never have seen anything like it.”
Trump grins to himself, clearly pleased with his vision. Elon, now oblivious to the proceedings, is drawing up plans for a Mars colony in his notebook, and everyone else nervously agrees.
Trump:
(satisfied, rubbing his hands together)
“Make North Korea Great Again? No, folks. We’re going to Make Trumplandia Great Again. And it’s going to be the greatest thing the world has ever seen. I’ll make history. The best history. Believe me.”
The room falls silent, as the advisors nod awkwardly, trying to keep up with the flood of outlandish ideas. Outside, a rocket explodes—no one can tell if it’s part of the plan or just another test.
