Trump:
“Folks, we’ve got a problem. A huge problem. Nobody’s talking about it, but I will, because I’m not afraid to tell the truth. Dinosaurs—yes, dinosaurs—are coming across our southern border. From Mexico. And it’s got to stop!”
(The crowd cheers wildly, some chanting, "Build the wall! Build the wall!")
Trump:
“These aren’t the nice dinosaurs, okay? Not like Barney. These are the bad ones. Raptors, T-Rexes—very nasty. Very violent. They don’t pay taxes, they don’t learn English, and, frankly, they’re taking jobs from hardworking Americans!”
(The crowd boos the dinosaurs. Someone in the front holds up a sign: "NO VELOCIRAPTORS!")
Trump:
“So, what are we gonna do? You know what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna build a big, beautiful wall. A dinosaur-proof wall! Twenty stories high. No, fifty stories! Made of the strongest steel—and, frankly, it’s going to have lasers on top. You ever see a raptor dodge a laser? You won’t. Believe me, folks.”
(The crowd erupts into cheers. A guy dressed as a Velociraptor gets tackled by security.)
Trump:
“And here’s the best part. You ready for this? Mexico is going to pay for it! Because they’ve got dinosaurs too. I’ve seen them. Tremendous dinosaurs, but they’re their problem, not ours!”
(Chants of "Make America Safe Again!" echo through the stadium.)
Trump:
“Now, the fake news media, they’re gonna say, ‘Oh, Mr Trump, dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.’ Lies! Lies, folks! They’re out there. I’ve seen the evidence. Tremendous evidence. Jurassic Park—it’s practically a documentary!”
(The crowd roars with laughter and applause.)
Trump:
“We’re not just stopping dinosaurs, folks. We’re sending a message: America comes first! No more freeloading stegosauruses, no more triceratops stealing your healthcare. This is the Trump Era! Dinosaurs, extinct or not, they’re not getting in. Not on my watch!”
(The crowd goes wild as Trump exits the stage to the Jurassic Park theme, performed by a brass band wearing MAGA hats.)
