Setting:
The Influencer has arrived at Castle Anthrax for what they’re marketing as an “exclusive, once-in-a-lifetime medieval chivalry experience!” Their live-stream is buzzing with comments as they strut into the main hall, armed with a selfie stick, an oversized water bottle, and unshakable confidence.
Scene:
The maidens are already giggling in the background, whispering and pointing at the Influencer as they adjust their ring light.
Influencer (to the camera):
“Hey, besties! I’m here at this super authentic medieval castle, bringing you premium content! Smash that like button if you think I’m the most honourable knight in all of Insta-verse!”
Zoot (stepping forward):
“Welcome, noble… um, knight! To prove your honour, you must endure the Chivalry Challenge! Do you accept?”
Influencer:
“OMG, totally! But like, can I get a quick close-up of this lighting? It’s kind of a vibe.”
Dingo (leaning in with mock seriousness):
“Tell us, noble one, is it truly chivalrous to ignore the pleas of maidens in favour of… selfies?”
Influencer (laughing nervously):
“Uh, I’m not ignoring you. I’m just, like, multitasking?”
The maidens giggle louder, circling the Influencer with exaggerated bows and curtsies.
Zoot:
“A true knight would kneel before the maidens! Will you kneel, oh honourable one?”
Influencer (checking comments):
“Uhhh, chat says kneeling is so last century. Let’s move on to the next challenge?”
Dingo (brandishing the noodle):
“But what’s more chivalrous than defending your honour in a noble dance-off?”
The maidens hum a lively jig and start waving the noodle like a knightly sceptre.
Influencer (to the camera, panicking):
“Okay, this is, like, so random. Comment if you think I should dance!”
The maidens close in, giggling louder. Comments flood in:
- “Dance, you coward!”
- “For the algorithm!”
- “#CringeContent”
Influencer (sighing dramatically):
“Alright, alright! But only because my followers are the best!”
They perform the world’s most awkward attempt at medieval flossing, which the maidens enthusiastically mimic while dissolving into laughter.
Zoot (through giggles):
“Ah, yes! A knight who can unite kingdoms with… interpretive dance!”
Influencer (to camera):
“Okay, so that was, like, super humbling or whatever. Don’t forget to subscribe for more honourable adventures. Byeee!”
As they hastily log off, the maidens cheer and start planning their next “content knight.”
