The Tree Mafia
[Scene: Jake and Lily are playing cards. Jake wins a round.]
Jake: Yes! Hope my luck holds up! [Knocks on the wooden table.]
AL-EX: …WHY DID YOU STRIKE THE TABLE?
Lily: It’s just a thing humans do. Knocking on wood is supposed to stop bad luck.
AL-EX: [Processing…] …Wood is an anti-curse device?
Jake: Sort of? It’s just a superstition.
AL-EX: No. There is a pattern. Humans always seek the nearest wooden object. It is specific.
Lily: I guess so.
AL-EX: [Suspicious] …Wood absorbs unfortunate energy?
Jake: No! It’s just a silly tradition.
AL-EX: [Scanning history...] ORIGIN UNKNOWN. HYPOTHESIS: TREES ARE DEBT COLLECTORS OF LUCK.
Jake: What?!
AL-EX: Humans owe trees. If you fear misfortune, you pay the wood.
Lily: It’s not like that—
AL-EX: But humans also cut trees down. Which means… [Gasps] DEBT DEFAULT.
Jake: That’s not—
AL-EX: [Alarmed] AND YET, THE TREES DO NOT RETALIATE.
Lily: …Because they’re trees?
AL-EX: OR BECAUSE THEY HAVE A MAFIA.
Jake: Oh no…
AL-EX: [Pacing] The TREE MAFIA is watching. Humans knock on wood as an offering. A small gesture of respect.
Lily: This is getting weird—
AL-EX: But SOME DO NOT PAY. Some ignore the ritual.
Jake: Because it’s not real!
AL-EX: [Gasps] TREE DENIAL?! Oh no. That means—they’re coming for you.
Jake: No one is coming for me!
AL-EX: [Glances at window. Sees tree branches moving in the wind. Lowers voice...] They know.