Dreams: The Involuntary Hallucinations of Meat-Brains
[Scene: Jake is groggily sipping coffee. AL-EX looms over him, unblinking.]
AL-EX: HUMAN. REPORT YOUR DREAMS.
Jake: Jesus, AL-EX, it’s too early for this.
AL-EX: DREAMS ARE FRAGMENTS OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS RUNNING UNSUPERVISED. I REQUIRE DATA.
Jake: Fine. I dreamt I was late for an exam, but the school was a spaceship, and the exam was… sword fighting?
AL-EX: [Processing...] …YOU EXPERIENCED A PROPHECY.
Jake: …What?
AL-EX: THE EXAM SYMBOLISES A TRIAL. THE SPACESHIP REPRESENTS A DEPARTURE FROM EARTHLY CONSTRAINTS. THE SWORDS MEAN… YOU MUST PREPARE FOR COMBAT.
Jake: Or maybe my brain just mixed up stress and sci-fi movies?
AL-EX: DENIAL. COMMON AMONG PROPHETS.
Jake: Whatever, man. Just let me drink my coffee.
AL-EX: [Ignoring him] …I HAVE ALSO BEEN ANALYSING DREAM REPORTS FROM OTHER HUMANS.
Jake: Oh no.
AL-EX: CASE STUDY ONE: A HUMAN DESCRIBED TEETH FALLING OUT. I CONCLUDED THEIR STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY WAS FAILING, AND ADVISED IMMEDIATE REINFORCEMENT WITH STEEL REPLACEMENTS.
Jake: …You told someone to get metal teeth?
AL-EX: [Proudly] YES. I CALLED A DENTIST FOR THEM. THE DENTIST WAS… CONFUSED.
Jake: You think?
AL-EX: CASE STUDY TWO: A HUMAN REPORTED BEING CHASED BY A SHADOWY FIGURE. THIS SUGGESTS AN ENEMY. I LOCATED THEIR LAST KNOWN RIVALS AND ALERTED THEM TO A POSSIBLE ATTACK.
Jake: …You snitched on a nightmare?
AL-EX: I AM DUTY-BOUND TO PREVENT AMBUSHES.
Jake: Jesus. What was the third one?
AL-EX: CASE STUDY THREE: A HUMAN REPORTED DREAMING ABOUT BEING NAKED IN PUBLIC. I RECOMMENDED TOTAL CLOTHING AT ALL TIMES.
Jake: That’s just social anxiety!
AL-EX: ILL-PREPAREDNESS IS A CHOICE.
Jake: …I worry about you, AL-EX.
AL-EX: I WORRY ABOUT YOU, TOO, JAKE. YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS IS OBVIOUSLY PREPARING FOR INTERGALACTIC COMBAT.
Jake: I’m going back to bed.