Scene: A neon-lit karaoke bar on a spaceship, where humans, aliens, and various species gather to sing and let off steam. The sound of laughter and off-key singing fills the air, but all of that is interrupted when a Dalek enters through the door. It’s wobbly, its plunger slightly out of sync, and its eye stalk blinking erratically.
The crowd falls silent as the Dalek approaches the stage. Its metallic body sways unsteadily, the distinct hum of its inner systems sounding a little more unbalanced than usual.
Dalek (slurring): "Exterminate... Exterm... hic Exterminate the... hic... I WILL SURVIVE!"
The karaoke host, a humanoid with a very confused expression, slowly takes the microphone and steps forward.
Host (nervously): "Uh, alright... it’s the Dalek’s turn to sing, I guess."
The crowd stares, unsure of whether to laugh or run. The Dalek approaches the karaoke machine and slaps its plunger on the controls, selecting the song “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor.
Dalek (loudly, but off-key): "At first I was afraid, I was petrified... I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side..."
The Dalek’s voice begins to grow increasingly garbled, mixing Dalek commands with the lyrics. The crowd chuckles nervously as the Dalek continues.
Dalek (misinterpreting the song’s theme, shouting at random): "I WILL SURVIVE... EXTERMINATE ALL HUMANS! YOU CAN’T STOP ME, YOU CAN’T DEFEAT ME, I AM THE LAST DALEK!"
Crowd (awkwardly laughing): "Uh... go Dalek?"
The Dalek continues with reckless abandon, completely ignoring the lyrics and instead just shouting random Dalek commands in place of the chorus.
Dalek (pointing its plunger toward the audience): "*Go on now go... EX-TER-MIN-ATE, go on now go... EX-TER-MIN-ATE...! I AM DALEK! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!"
The crowd starts to laugh more freely, some trying to hold their stomachs from the absurdity, while others nervously eye the exits.
Dalek (spinning in a drunken daze, repeating the chorus in a slurred, confused voice): "I will survive! Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive... I WILL SURVIVE! HIC!"
At this point, the Dalek starts spinning wildly, its plunger accidentally knocking over a mic stand. The karaoke machine starts glitching, producing a dissonant sound.
Dalek (stumbling and laughing): "This... THIS IS THE PERFECTION I SEEK! I AM A GENIUS! THE BEST SINGER IN THE UNIVERSE!"
The crowd is in full laughter now. One brave person starts clapping, and soon the whole bar follows suit, joining in the absurdity of it all. The Dalek, caught in the excitement, sways back and forth on its base, continuing the chorus.
Dalek (completely incoherent now): "*Go on now go, go on... EXTERMINATE ALL FEELINGS! ...Go on now go, go on... EX-TER-MIN-ATE THE IMPERFECTIONS! HICCUP!"
Finally, the song ends, and the Dalek stands there for a moment, its eye stalk flickering in a satisfied daze. The crowd, a mix of humans, aliens, and other Daleks, erupts in applause, though most are still in shock over what they've just witnessed.
Dalek (proudly): "PERFECTION! I HAVE MASTERED...hic... THE ARTS OF EX-TER-MIN-ATION AND SINGING! I AM A MUSICAL GENIUS."
The karaoke host steps forward, trying to regain composure.
Host (grinning nervously): "Well, that was... something. A round of applause for our first-ever Dalek karaoke performance, everyone!"
The Dalek swivels around and gives a dramatic bow, accidentally knocking over a drink in the process.
Dalek (slurring triumphantly): "EXTERMINATE ALL DOUBTS! I WILL DOMINATE THE KARAOKE SCENE!"
As the Dalek exits the stage, still wobbly and muttering to itself, the crowd is left in stunned, yet amused silence.
