Scene: Frank vs. Science (“Ignorance is Just a Starting Point”)
Setting:
A science museum. The kind with interactive exhibits, holographic displays, and deeply underpaid staff.
Frank, Estelle, and Mrs Warboys stand in front of a large sign:
🔬 SCIENCE EXHIBIT – DISCOVER THE WONDERS OF THE UNIVERSE! 🔬
Frank is glaring at it.
Frank Declares War on Science
FRANK: (scoffing) “Wonders of the Universe.” Oh, please. I’ve been in the universe my whole life, and I’ve yet to see anything wonderful.
ESTELLE: (dryly) Yes, Frank, existence has been particularly hard on you.
MRS WARBOYS: (cheerfully) Oh, I love science! It’s all about facts and understanding.
FRANK: (snorting) Facts are just opinions with lab coats.
ESTELLE: (blinking) … I need that on a warning label.
Frank marches inside with the swagger of a man who has never understood gravity.
Frank vs. The Laws of Physics (“I Don’t Believe in Gravity”)
Frank stops in front of an exhibit titled:
🌎 HOW GRAVITY WORKS 🌎
A large touchscreen lets visitors “test” gravity by dropping virtual objects from different heights.
FRANK: (folding arms) Gravity’s a scam.
ESTELLE: … How.
FRANK: Think about it! If gravity were real, how come planes stay in the air?
ESTELLE: (deep breath) Because of lift.
FRANK: Oh, so it picks favourites now?
Before Estelle can respond, Frank leans on the exhibit table.
Unfortunately, it’s one of those tilt tables designed to simulate gravitational pull.
It immediately shifts, and Frank topples face-first into a Newton’s Cradle, setting off a violent chain reaction of metal balls smacking into his skull.
Frank vs. The Interactive Lab (“Electricity is Just a Suggestion”)
The group moves to a hands-on electricity experiment. A sign reads:
⚡ SAFELY TOUCH THE PLASMA GLOBE! SEE ELECTRICITY IN ACTION! ⚡
Frank scoffs.
FRANK: Electricity’s just angry air.
He ignores the plasma globe and reaches for the Van de Graaff generator instead.
ESTELLE: (alarmed) Frank, that’s—
Frank grabs it with both hands.
The machine hums ominously.
Frank’s hair stands on end like he’s trying to communicate with ghosts.
FRANK: (eyes darting around) … I feel tingly.
The machine sparks.
Frank yells and staggers backwards, slamming into a display about static charge.
A tiny plaque falls from the wall and hits him on the head.
He picks it up and reads:
📜 “Electricity: A Shocking Discovery!” 📜
FRANK: (groaning) … I hate science.
Frank vs. The Space Exhibit (“The Moon is Just a Big Lightbulb”)
They move to the astronomy hall, where a huge display of the solar system is suspended from the ceiling.
Frank stares at the moon model.
FRANK: You know, the moon’s fake.
ESTELLE: (rubbing her temples) Oh, fantastic.
MRS WARBOYS: (intrigued) Ooh! Is this one of those government secrets?
FRANK: Exactly! It’s just a giant lightbulb.
He points dramatically at the model.
FRANK: It’s been up there for billions of years, yet it never burns out. Why? Because it’s a massive LED put there by—
A nearby tour guide overhears this and bursts out laughing.
TOUR GUIDE: (grinning) Sir, the moon doesn’t work like a lightbulb—
FRANK: (cutting him off) Oh, I see. A scientist. (mocking tone) “Ooh, look at me, I have a degree, I know the moon.”
TOUR GUIDE: (blinking) That’s… literally my job.
Frank folds his arms smugly just as a small child tugs on the tour guide’s sleeve.
CHILD: (whispering) Is that man okay?
The tour guide leans down.
TOUR GUIDE: (softly) No, sweetie. He’s too far gone.
The Grand Exit: A Moment of Self-Reflection?
After destroying several exhibits, electrocuting himself, and being out-debated by a toddler, Frank finally storms out of the museum, bruised and furious.
MRS WARBOYS: (cheerfully) That was fascinating!
ESTELLE: (exhausted) We should’ve left him in the monkey exhibit.
FRANK: (grumbling) Science is just a cult for nerds.
A large poster near the exit reads:
🧠 “SCIENCE: DISCOVER. EXPLORE. LEARN.” 🧠
Frank glares at it.
Then he trips over the curb and falls flat on his face.
ESTELLE: (sighing) I rest my case.
FADE TO BLACK.
