Scene: The Great Wall Debate
The table is large, circular, and gleaming. At its centre sits a golden microphone, though nobody seems to need it. Donald Trump, dressed in his signature suit, is flanked by the Reverse Speaker (RS), the Punster (P), Reverend Spooner (RSpo), Mrs. Malaprop (MM), and the Riddler (R). The discussion is to address Donald Trump’s infamous wall proposal. A detailed, childlike drawing of a wall stands on an easel behind him. Trump is beaming, ready to build the conversation to his liking—or so he thinks.
Trump:
"This is the greatest wall. People say, ‘Donald, you’re a genius.’ And they’re right. It’s not just a wall. It’s a beautiful wall. It’s got everything—height, strength, and no ladders. Nobody does walls better than me. Believe me."
RS:
".sgurdni rof llaw ruoy sdenifed ot si siht fI .ynaffitS ot og ot secnahc ruoy lla ekil I"
Trump:
"I’m sorry, what? Was that Spanish? I don’t do Spanish unless it’s on a taco bowl—delicious, by the way. Big fan of Hispanics."
Punster:
"Sounds like you’re on the fence about it, RS! But let’s not brick up our ears here. Is this wall meant to divide or cement relationships?"
Reverend Spooner:
"I say we brink out the wicks! The wall shall be a molling stonument to our unity! Let it mark a line in the send!"
Mrs. Malaprop:
"Exactly, Reverend! This wall should be a symbolic symphony of unification. It must be made of the finest concrete jungle materials!"
Trump:
"Concrete, steel, gold—doesn’t matter. As long as my name’s on it. ‘TRUMP WALL’ in big, shiny letters. The best letters. People will come just to look at it. It’ll be huge."
Riddler:
"What stands tall to divide, yet brings none together? What exists to protect, but costs freedom forever?"
Trump:
"Me again! I divide, I conquer, and I protect. Ask anyone. Best protector ever. Next!"
RS:
".muiror dna siht fo truopmi eht fo elohw eht tuoba si tahW .wal a si gnihtynA"
Punster:
"Well, RS just broke the fourth wall with that one! Or maybe he’s reflecting on the issue?"
Reverend Spooner:
"We must not titter splings on this matering splatter! The wall should be a gestimonial monument to prosperity!"
Mrs. Malaprop:
"Oh, yes! It must be a penetrable fortress that welcomes ex-patriots and celebrates our melting crock of diversity!"
Trump:
"No, no, no! Walls don’t melt! They’re strong. Impenetrable. Like me. If anything melts, it’s fake news or a failed politician—like Hillary."
Riddler:
"What keeps people out, yet locks others in? A barrier that ends, but never begins?"
RS:
"?noitseuq tsal ruoy saw tahW"
Trump:
"I know the answer—it’s the wall. I’m right again. You know, I could’ve had this meeting alone. These people? Too confusing. Nobody builds walls—or answers riddles—like me."
Punster:
"Well, if you’re so good, Trump, maybe you should raise the stakes and make it a great wall of steaks! Get it? Trump Steaks?"
Trump:
"Love it. Genius idea. I’ll call my people. But it’ll still be called the Trump Wall, not the Steak Wall. Let’s not get carried away."
Final Moment:
As Trump gloats, the Reverse Speaker delivers a backwards soliloquy about freedom, the Punster keeps the bad puns coming, Reverend Spooner tries to call for unity but muddles every word, Mrs. Malaprop rhapsodises about "diplomatic immigrants," and the Riddler quietly plants another cryptic question.
Trump storms out, declaring he’s the only builder in the room.
