"Make Self-Contradiction Great Again" Again by ChatGPT

The rally kicks off with the same banner reading "MAKE SELF-CONTRADICTION GREAT AGAIN," but now it’s sideways. No one comments on it. Trump strides to the stage, wearing a shirt that says “I’M NEVER WRONG, UNLESS I’M RIGHT.” The crowd stands to clap—but half of them just scratch their heads. Trump waves them down.

"Listen up, folks. I’ve got a plan to make America so great, it’s going to literally explode. That’s how much greatness we’re packing. It’s called—get ready for it—reverse greatness."

A man in the front row, holding a coffee cup that says “#MAGA4EVR,” raises a hand.

"But if it’s ‘reverse greatness,’ doesn’t that mean we’re just going backward?"

Trump pauses.

"That’s exactly right! But here’s the secret—you can’t go forward unless you’ve been backward first. So we’re going backward, but backward is the new forward, folks. Huge, huge move."

The crowd exchanges glances, some nodding like they understand, others still staring blankly.

---

"Let me talk about education, okay? People say we need more teachers, more schools, more books. Wrong! We’re cutting all that. We’re going back to basics. We’re going to teach kids how to do nothing—and they’ll be great at it. It’s called ‘minimalist learning,’ and I’m telling you, we’re going to have the best dumb kids in the world."

A woman in the front row, clearly a professor, stands up.

"But if you teach nothing, how will they learn anything?"

Trump grins widely.

"Exactly. You get it. You’re asking the right questions. We teach them to ask questions—but never answer them. That’s where the true education is, folks. Trust me, I know education."

---

"Now, on to healthcare. I’ve got the solution—we’re going to make everyone healthier by getting rid of doctors! That’s right, no doctors. We’ll make every hospital a hotel. You go to the hospital for a vacation, and while you’re there, you can pretend you’re sick and get a spa treatment. Brilliant."

A man raises a brow.

"But… what if people are actually sick?"

Trump leans in, speaking slowly.

"That’s the genius. They won’t even know they’re sick. They’ll be so relaxed, they’ll think they’re better. Healing by denial. Big thing. It’s going to change the world."

A murmur of uncertainty ripples through the crowd. One person mutters, “This is… like, the opposite of healthcare.”

---

"And energy, folks! We’re going to fix the energy crisis by giving everyone their own personal windmill. You’ll get a free one when you buy a Trump-brand electric toothbrush. That’s clean energy. Windmill power on your teeth. Everyone’s a winner."

A young woman near the front furrows her brow.

"But... isn’t wind energy kind of unreliable? And how does it relate to… brushing your teeth?"

Trump claps his hands.

"Exactly! Wind’s unreliable, but so is life. So we’re going to embrace the unreliable and make it work for us. Sometimes your windmill’s going to fail, and guess what? That’s okay. We’re going to power your phone with failure. It’s the future, folks!"

---

"And the economy—oh, let me tell you about the economy. We’re going to bring in universal basic income… but with a twist. No one gets any money unless they can prove they’re already rich. It’s called ‘reverse redistribution.’ You’ll get money after you have it. It's the ultimate reward system. We’ve never seen anything like it."

A sharp voice from the back:

"How do people prove they’re already rich if they don’t have money?"

Trump looks smug.

"That’s the beauty. If you can’t prove you’re rich, you won’t get money. So it’s basically a test of how rich you feel. If you feel rich, you’re already winning."

---

The rally reaches a fever pitch. Trump pauses dramatically. A spotlight shines on him as he leans into the mic.

"And folks—space. We’re going to launch the first Trump Space Station in 2025. It’s going to orbit Earth, but with a twist. We’re not sending astronauts—we’re sending billionaires to live in space. They’ll float around, doing nothing, but they’ll say they’re working hard. It’s going to be amazing."

A well-dressed man in the audience, who looks like he could be a professor of philosophy, raises his hand:

"Mr. Trump, if billionaires are just floating in space, won’t they be… out of touch with reality?"

Trump’s eyes light up:

"That’s exactly right. And that’s what makes them the most qualified to solve the world’s problems. They’ll be so far from Earth, they’ll be above all the issues. You want a problem solved? Send someone who doesn’t even know what the problem is!"

---

The crowd goes quiet for a moment, absorbing the sheer magnitude of contradictions being flung at them. Then, as if on cue, they break into slow, confused applause. One person in the front row stands and shouts, “I’m actually starting to get it!” The rest of the crowd nods in unison, some still unsure, others slowly applauding, unsure if they’re clapping for brilliance or insanity.

"Make Self-Contradiction Great Again" by ChatGPT

The scene is set in a packed arena, filled with spectators who seem far more observant than usual. A giant banner reads: "MAKE SELF-CONTRADICTION GREAT AGAIN." Trump walks on stage, wearing an oversized, red cap that says "I KNOW WHAT I THINK," but with no logos. The crowd cheers—hesitantly.

"Folks! Welcome! This is going to be the greatest rally in history. I know what you're thinking—'How can a guy like me, a huge success, be part of something so self-contradictory?' But guess what? I’m the best at everything. And I can make contradictions—tremendous contradictions—work for you."

The crowd claps, but you can sense the wheels turning in some heads. A few are raising eyebrows, ready for the paradoxical onslaught.

---

"Let me tell you: We’re going to make America so great that it doesn’t even matter if it’s terrible anymore. That’s what I do—I create greatness by making things appear totally messed up, but secretly awesome. We’ve got the best bad ideas in this country—truly incredible ideas. People say they’re bad, but I call them bold."

An elderly gentleman in the front row raises his hand:

"Mr. Trump, you’ve been promising to ‘make America great again’ for years, but... doesn’t that imply we’re not great already?"

Trump grins.

"Exactly! That’s why we’re going to make it more great by admitting it’s not great. You get it, right? You want the ultimate greatness? You’ve got to start by realising you’re failing first. That’s what makes us win!"

The crowd pauses, trying to process, but then claps, awkwardly unsure of whether they should agree.

---

"Now, let’s talk jobs, folks. People are always complaining, ‘Oh, there aren’t enough jobs!’ Well, guess what? We’re going to create jobs by getting rid of jobs. Trust me, it’s going to work. We’ll bring back the greatest economy by destroying the old system. So, no more work. But everyone will be richer! Big business deals, folks. Big."

A woman in the back pipes up:

"But if no one works, how will people make money?"

Trump points to her, shaking his finger:

"That’s the genius! You don’t need work to make money. Just believe you’re rich, and you’ll be rich. It’s about attitude, okay? You’ll have money, you’ll feel rich, and then the economy will be great. It’s all about vibes."

The woman exchanges looks with the person next to her, both nodding cautiously but confused.

---

"And healthcare, folks—healthcare. We’re going to fix it by making it worse. We’re cutting all the regulations, and trust me, you’ll love it. No more red tape, no more insurance companies. You know what that means? FREE HEALTHCARE. But you might have to pay for it—somehow, someday, somewhere. But it’s free in spirit."

A young man near the front leans forward:

"But if it’s free, why are we paying for it?"

Trump flashes a confident smile:

"Listen, listen—if you’re paying for something, that means you’re getting it. And if you're getting it, it means it’s free. So technically, it’s the freest thing ever. It’s an illusion. But the best one."

The crowd murmurs, some nodding, some simply scratching their heads.

---

"Finally, the environment. You hear a lot about climate change, right? But I’m telling you, folks—climate change is the best thing for the environment. We need more pollution! That’s right. More pollution equals better air, better water, better everything! I’m a master at reversing problems, and I’ll fix climate change by making it worse. Then, it’ll be fixed. It’s simple!"

A person in the back raises a finger:

"So, if you make the environment worse, it will get better?"

Trump laughs.

"Exactly. You’re understanding. It’s like when you make a terrible decision, and then you turn it around. That’s how you win."

---

As the rally reaches its climax, Trump holds up a sign that reads: "WE’RE GOING TO MAKE THIS THE GREATEST FAILURE IN HISTORY." The crowd is now caught in a whirlwind of awkward applause. They don’t know if they should be applauding or questioning their own existence, but they keep clapping, unsure of anything except the certainty that this is going to be remembered as… something.

"Make The Waterways Great Again" Again by ChatGPT

Scene: A massive outdoor rally by a lake. Trump stands on a stage flanked by banners reading “FREEDOM FISH: MAKING WATERWAYS GREAT AGAIN!” Behind him is a tank of disturbingly large, mutated fish with glowing red eyes. The crowd is angry, many wearing waders and bandaged limbs. Some hold signs like “My Pond Was Peaceful!” and “Stop the Madness!”

Trump:

“Wow, what a turnout! So many of you here to celebrate our tremendous success with the Freedom Fish! Aren’t they incredible? Look at them—majestic, patriotic, very pro-America!”

(The fish slam against the glass of the tank, one gnashing its razor-sharp teeth. The crowd boos.)

Angry Fisherman:

“Incredible? They ate my dog!”

Trump:

(Waving dismissively)

“Well, I’ve heard that. I’ve heard stories, okay? But let’s be clear—these are the best fish, the strongest fish, doing the important job of keeping America safe. You don’t see any other fish doing that, do you?”

Crowd:

“NO, BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS GONE!”

Trump:

(Pausing)

“Everything else is gone because the Freedom Fish are efficient. Very efficient. We told them, ‘Take care of things,’ and folks, they delivered. Bigly.”

(A rancher steps forward, holding up a shredded cowboy boot.)

Rancher:

“They also delivered on my cattle, Mr. President! I watched one of those... THINGS drag a heifer into the lake!”

Trump:

“Okay, look, we’ve had a few minor hiccups. But these fish are still better than anything else, folks. Much better. Imagine a fish that’s not only patriotic but also... adaptable. They’re survivors.”

(A mother steps up, holding a baby bottle filled with murky water.)

Mother:

“These things poisoned our drinking water! My kids glow in the dark now!”

(Trump squints at her child, whose head is faintly luminescent.)

Trump:

“Well, that’s... that’s innovation! Bioluminescent babies—why didn’t I think of that? You could save money on nightlights!”

(The crowd groans in exasperation. A scientist in a lab coat steps forward.)

Scientist:

“Mr. President, the Freedom Fish have destabilised the entire ecosystem. They’ve bred with local species, and now we’re dealing with super-mutant hybrids. We’re calling them ‘Terror Trout.’”

(Trump nods approvingly.)

Trump:

“Terror Trout. Love it. Sounds tough. Sounds like a winner.”

Scientist:

“They’ve taken over three states’ river systems and are now moving into the Mississippi. They’ve even been seen walking on land.”

(The crowd gasps. A video screen behind Trump lights up, showing grainy footage of a grotesque fish slithering up a driveway and biting a mailbox.)

Trump:

(Turning to the Dalek, who has appeared again for moral support)

“See? Isn’t this progress? Fish that can walk! America leads the world in amphibious innovation. No one else has this, folks. Not China, not Russia. Just us!”

Dalek:

(Grating voice)

“FREEDOM FISH ARE PERFECT BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS. THEY WILL DOMINATE ALL WATERS. VICTORY FOR THE UNITED STATES!”

(The crowd roars in protest. A farmer throws a tomato at Trump, missing and hitting the Dalek instead. The Dalek’s weapon glows ominously.)

Dalek:

“HOSTILITY DETECTED. EXTERMINATE!”

Trump:

(Waving his arms frantically)

“No, no, no! Don’t exterminate them—these are my people! They love me. Don’t you love me?”

(The crowd falls silent, their arms crossed. A man with a prosthetic leg fashioned out of driftwood steps forward.)

Man:

“We loved you, Mr. President, until Freedom Fish started chewing on our ankles and dragging our livestock into the rivers!”

Trump:

“Okay, okay. So maybe we need a Freedom Fish 2.0—less bitey, more friendly. We’ll get the best scientists. We’ll fix this, folks, I promise you. And you’ll love the results. Believe me.”

(The Dalek interjects, eyestalk swiveling.)

Dalek:

“FREEDOM FISH CANNOT BE CONTAINED. THEY WILL CONSUME ALL ORGANIC MATTER. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.”

(Trump pats the Dalek reassuringly.)

Trump:

“Well, that’s just... ambition! They’re overachievers. You’ve got to admire that.”

(The crowd begins to storm the stage, brandishing protest signs and buckets filled with dead fish. Trump panics.)

Trump:

“Okay, okay, folks! Let’s not overreact. We’ll... we’ll get the Space Force involved! They’ll zap the Freedom Fish from orbit. It’ll be tremendous. And Mexico will pay for the cleanup, I guarantee it!”

(As chaos erupts and the Dalek begins firing indiscriminately into the air, Trump is ushered offstage by Secret Service. The scene fades out as the crowd chants, “NO MORE FISH! NO MORE FISH!”)

"Make The Waterways Great Again" by ChatGPT

Scene: A massive rally in a barn converted into an emergency town hall. Farmers, ranchers, and civilians sit on makeshift benches. Nearly everyone has a missing limb and a hairdo resembling a lightning strike. Angry murmurs fill the air. Trump stands at the podium, flanked by a Dalek painted in stars and stripes. Its eyestalk swivels menacingly.

Voiceover (News Anchor):

"After thousands of Americans lost limbs to piranha attacks, President Trump made a bold move: hiring Daleks to exterminate the invasive menace. However, their extermination strategy involved electrifying every body of water in the nation, leading to ecological devastation and... some unintended side effects."

(Cut to Trump, who beams at the crowd as the Dalek looms beside him.)

Trump:

“Wow, wow, look at this turnout! So many great Americans here today—hardworking, salt-of-the-earth people! And I’ve got to say, you all look... electric. Tremendous hairstyles, really. You’re like walking Tesla coils. Very cutting edge!”

(The crowd erupts in angry shouting.)

Angry Farmer:

“Cutting edge?! I lost my right arm and two cows!”

Trump:

(Waving it off)

“Look, folks, I understand. You’re upset. But let me remind you—those piranhas were a disaster. A disaster! And thanks to me—and my very good friend here—” (gestures to the Dalek), “we got rid of them. Completely gone. Exterminated. You’re welcome!”

Dalek:

(In its signature grating tone)

“EX-TER-MIN-A-TION WAS EFFICIENT. ALL AQUATIC LIFE FORMS HAVE BEEN NEUTRALIZED!”

Rancher:

“That’s the problem! You didn’t just kill the piranhas; you killed EVERYTHING! My catfish farm’s wiped out! My son’s fishing business is gone!”

Trump:

(Nodding sagely)

“True. True. But think about it—no piranhas, right? That’s what we call a win, folks. And sure, okay, some... collateral damage. But isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?”

(A mother stands up, holding a crying toddler.)

Mother:

“My little girl was paddling in the creek when it got electrified! She looks like she stuck her finger in a socket!”

(The child’s hair resembles a frizzed-out mop.)

Trump:

(Turning to the Dalek)

“Did we have to electrify all the waterways?”

Dalek:

“IT WAS THE MOST LOGICAL COURSE OF ACTION. ELECTRICITY IS SUPREME. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.”

Trump:

(Turning back to the crowd, grinning)

“See that? Supreme logic. That’s why I hired the Daleks, folks. The best exterminators in the universe. No one exterminates like them.”

(A veteran stands up, holding a prosthetic leg fashioned from a broken rake.)

Veteran:

“What about us, huh? Half of us got zapped trying to save our livestock! And now you’re telling me I’ve got to irrigate my fields with electrified water?”

Trump:

“Listen, I hear you. Believe me, I do. That’s why I’ve got a solution, folks. A big, beautiful solution. I call it the ‘Great National Water Filter.’ We’re going to filter every single river and stream, and it’s going to be fabulous. Sparkling clean, piranha-free, electricity-free water!”

Farmer:

“And who’s paying for that?”

Trump:

(Smirking)

“Canada! They love us. I’ll make Trudeau write the cheque himself. It’ll be huge.”

(The crowd groans. The Dalek swivels its eyestalk at the crowd and speaks.)

Dalek:

“ANY FURTHER RESISTANCE WILL BE MET WITH EXTERMINATION!”

(The crowd gasps. Trump waves his hands reassuringly.)

Trump:

“Okay, okay, let’s not get trigger-happy here. Look, folks, I’ll admit, maybe things got a little... zap-happy. But that’s what makes America great—our ability to bounce back! And I’m already working on a new plan to introduce genetically modified fish into the rivers. Fish that eat piranhas AND survive electricity. We’re calling them... ‘Freedom Fish.’”

(The Dalek starts to hum ominously, its weapon glowing slightly. Trump pats it nervously.)

Trump:

“See? Even my Dalek friend loves it. Freedom Fish! They’re going to be the next big thing. Trust me, folks. Big, beautiful fish. Very tasty, very patriotic. And you know what? They’ll make the waterways great again!”

(The camera pans across the crowd of shocked, dishevelled Americans, their expressions a mix of disbelief and resignation. The Dalek begins chanting.)

Dalek:

“FREE-DOM FISH! FREE-DOM FISH!”

(The crowd reluctantly joins in, their voices tinged with despair.)

(Fade to black as Trump smiles broadly, basking in the reluctant applause, while the Dalek accidentally incinerates a nearby tractor.)

Make The Cows Safe Again by ChatGPT

Scene: A rural town hall meeting, with worried farmers, ranchers, and citizens gathered in a large barn. Signs reading “STOP THE PIRANHAS!” and “SAVE OUR LIVESTOCK!” hang on the walls. Trump stands at the podium, flanked by a massive model of an armoured cow.

Voiceover (News Anchor):

"After President Trump’s bold initiative to fill the Rio Grande with piranhas as a ‘protective moat’ against illegal immigration, the nation now faces an unforeseen crisis. The piranhas, undeterred by borders, have spread into every major waterway, leaving a trail of ecological chaos. Rivers teeming with these ravenous fish have devastated livestock, fisheries, and swimming holes. Now, President Trump addresses the nation with a groundbreaking solution..."

(Cut to Trump, who steps up to the podium with a grin, soaking in the applause from his supporters.)

Trump:

“Thank you, thank you! Great to see so many incredible patriots here today. Folks, I have to tell you, the fake news media won’t admit it, but our piranha plan was a HUGE success. Tremendous. They said it couldn’t be done, but we did it!”

(The crowd cheers, though some look uneasy. A rancher mutters, “Success? My herd’s gone!” Trump presses on.)

Trump:

“Now, okay, okay, so some of you have been saying, ‘Mr. President, the piranhas are... how do I put this... a bit of a problem.’ And I hear you. I hear you, folks. But do you know what we do in America? We don’t give up. We innovate. And that’s why I’m proud to introduce—drumroll, please—the solution to all your worries!”

(He gestures dramatically as the curtains behind him part, revealing the oversized Piranha-Proof Cow™. The audience gasps. Some clap; others look deeply concerned.)

Trump:

“Behold! The Piranha-Proof Cow™! This beauty is going to save American ranching, folks. No more losing your herds to these sneaky, fishy freeloaders. This cow is a tank on four legs—completely impervious to piranha bites!”

(The crowd murmurs. A farmer yells out.)

Farmer:

“What about the fact the piranhas are now in EVERY river and are about to reach the Great Lakes?”

Trump:

(Waving it off)

“Look, these piranhas, they love water. They’re very ambitious fish, okay? I respect that. But let me tell you, our great American cows are going to be even tougher. This is a turning point, folks. A turning point!”

Concerned Parent:

“Mr. President, the piranhas are attacking our kids at swimming pools!”

Trump:

“Well, maybe the kids shouldn’t swim so much. Builds character to stay dry! And anyway, look at this cow—armoured! Spiked! Battle-ready! Perfect for dealing with these piranhas.”

(He turns to the cow model and pats it. A mechanical moo echoes awkwardly, followed by a metallic creak.)

Trump:

“Totally state-of-the-art. It’s not just a cow; it’s a hero. These spikes? Not just for decoration. They’ll scare the piranhas away, AND if we ever need to, say, weaponise the cows for national defence, we’re ready.”

(The crowd applauds hesitantly. A child raises their hand.)

Child:

“Mr. Trump, won’t the piranhas just evolve to eat through the armour?”

Trump:

(Pausing, then smirking)

“Smart kid! But let me tell you, we’re already ahead of them. If the piranhas evolve, we’ll evolve the cows. Bigger, stronger, faster. We’ll call them... Super Cows. That’s right, folks, Super Cows. Elon Musk is on board. He’s designing a SpaceX version. Cows that can swim, fly, you name it!”

(Suddenly, the prototype cow malfunctions. The water jets spray the crowd, spikes rotate wildly, and the armour collapses with a loud clang. Smoke rises. Trump doesn’t miss a beat.)

Trump:

“Prototype, folks, prototype! The real ones will be flawless—believe me. And guess what? These cows are 100% American-made. Are the piranhas American? No! They’re probably Mexican, honestly. But our cows? Patriotic. Loyal. And they’ll WIN!”

(The crowd claps nervously as Trump waves confidently, ignoring the smouldering wreckage of the prototype. Meanwhile, outside, a news helicopter films a school of piranhas swarming up the Mississippi River, dragging away a lawnmower for reasons unclear.)

(Fade to black, with the sound of Trump’s voice echoing: “We’re going to make grazing great again!”)

“Make America Safe from Trump Again” by ChatGPT

Trump:

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here today. We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we? A lot. You all know I love this country, and I’ve done some of the greatest things for this country. But, you know, I’ve been thinking about something—something very, very serious. We’ve got a huge problem, folks, and it's me.”

(The crowd quiets down, unsure of what to expect next.)

Trump:

“That’s right. As much as I love this country, I’ve come to realize something. There’s a threat that’s been lurking, growing, and it’s me—me being re-elected. It’s a disaster, folks, a total disaster. I am too powerful. No one wants me back in office again. I’m so great, it’s scary. And I’m going to fix it. I’m going to make sure I don’t get re-elected. I’m going to make America safe from Trump being re-elected again!”

(The crowd murmurs in confusion. Trump pauses dramatically, watching them closely.)

Trump:

“Now, don’t get me wrong, okay? I love being president. Love it. But we can’t have a re-election crisis. It’s bad for business, bad for the greatest country in the world, and frankly, it’s bad for me as well. So, here's what we're going to do. We’re going to build a wall—a huge wall, like you’ve never seen before. This one’s going to be special. Not just to keep people out, but to keep me in.”

(The crowd is still puzzled, some trying to figure out if this is another one of Trump’s usual grand promises.)

Trump:

“We’re going to build a wall around the White House, folks. A big, beautiful wall. You know, the kind that stops everybody—even me. We’ll have the best contractors, folks, the best. It’s going to be so strong, no one’s getting through, especially me. I’m going to lock myself inside that wall. The greatest wall ever built. I won’t be able to get out, and I won’t be able to run for re-election. It’ll be fantastic. I’ll be safe from re-election!”

(A few people in the crowd start clapping, but it’s hesitant. They look at each other, unsure if they should be laughing or applauding.)

Trump:

“And we’ll have lasers, folks. Laser security. Just like you’ve seen in the movies. And there will be piranhas. No one is getting through that wall. Not even me. You want to re-elect me? Not happening. I’m going to be trapped in there with my golf clubs, my TV, my tremendous snacks—”

(A couple of people laugh, but the atmosphere is still mixed, with some starting to catch on that this might be a joke.)

Trump:

“Now, you might be wondering—'Mr. Trump, if you don’t want to be re-elected, why don’t you just step down?' Well, it’s not that easy, folks. I'm too important, too much of a winner to just walk away. No, no, we need to go all out. I'm doing this for America. For America. We need to make sure no one can ever vote for me again. And trust me, this wall is going to work. It’ll be perfect.”

(Trump gestures grandly, but the crowd is starting to catch on to the absurdity, with a few people chuckling openly now.)

Trump:

“Once I’m inside the wall, folks, I’ll be so secure, so safe, you won’t have to worry about me being re-elected. And I’ll be doing a lot of important work inside that wall. I’ll be perfecting my golf swing, binge-watching my favorite shows, and no one can say anything bad about me. No more election worries. It’s brilliant.”

(A few people stand and start clapping more enthusiastically, thinking it’s some kind of satire. Some are still unsure, looking back and forth, wondering if this is a serious announcement.)

Trump:

“And that’s my plan, folks. We’re going to make America safe from Trump being re-elected again and keep the best country in the world safe and sound. You’re welcome, America! You’re welcome!”

(The crowd erupts into confused applause, with some cheering and others just shaking their heads in disbelief as Trump waves and walks off stage, smiling proudly.)

Make America Safe From Asteroids Again by ChatGPT

Trump:

“Folks, let me tell you, we’ve got big problems out there. Everyone’s talking about China, they’re talking about Russia, but nobody’s talking about the real threat, the big one—asteroids. Big, ugly asteroids. They’re out there, floating around, and believe me, they want to hit us. And I’ll tell you this—I am the only one with a plan to stop them. Tremendous plan.”

(The crowd murmurs, unsure, but intrigued.)

Trump:

“Now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Mr. Trump, how do we stop a big rock from space?’ Well, let me tell you, it’s very simple. We’re gonna build a ceiling. That’s right, folks, a ceiling. Over the whole country.”

(The crowd goes silent for a moment, and then starts murmuring.)

Trump:

“Big, beautiful ceiling. You think I’m joking? I’m not. This ceiling will be the best ceiling you’ve ever seen. It’ll be huge, folks. Not like these other tiny ceilings. I’m talking about a real ceiling, all around America. You won’t even see the asteroids anymore. They’ll just hit the ceiling, and boom, they’ll bounce off and go away!”

(The crowd starts to react, clapping, but some are confused.)

Trump:

“It’s going to be made of the strongest material. Not steel, no, too weak. We’re talking space-age materials. The best of the best. Believe me, we’ve got scientists working on this. NASA, SpaceX, they don’t even know it yet, but they’re going to help. It’s going to be, without a doubt, the greatest ceiling in history.”

(Someone in the crowd shouts, “How are you gonna pay for it?”)

Trump:

“Great question. You think I don’t know? We’re going to make the world pay for it! Europe, Japan, Canada—they’ll all contribute. And let me tell you, Mexico? They’ll pay too. They don’t know it yet, but they’re paying for the ceiling. It’s going to be so strong, nothing’s getting through. Not even an asteroid with a fancy name—I don’t care how many meteors are named after scientists! It’s going to be perfect.”

(The crowd is now completely on board, clapping, chanting, “Build the ceiling!”)

Trump:

“And here’s the best part: We’re not just stopping asteroids. We’re making America safer than ever. Imagine, folks, you go outside, you look up, and you see—nothing. No asteroids, no space junk, nothing. Just a beautiful, perfect ceiling. And it’s gonna be so big that the fake news media won’t even be able to see over it. They won’t have a clue what’s going on! Tremendous!”

(The crowd roars in approval. Someone shouts, “What about the stars?”)

Trump:

“Stars? Well, we’ll have star-shaped holes in the ceiling, folks. Just the right size for stars to shine through. But no asteroids, no big, ugly rocks coming down on us. We’re gonna have the best stars, folks, shining down—like the ones you see in the Trump Tower lights, but bigger, better, and more American.”

(The crowd erupts in cheers, waving flags.)

Trump:

“We’re making America great again, folks. And with this ceiling, we’re going to protect America from the skies. No more rocks from space, no more comets, no more asteroids. Just the best ceiling you’ve ever seen. Thank you, and goodnight!”

(Trump walks off the stage, as the crowd continues chanting, “Build the ceiling!” and the theme music plays in the background—Eye of the Tiger with some cosmic sound effects mixed in.)

"Make America Safe Again!" by ChatGPT

Trump:

“Folks, we’ve got a problem. A huge problem. Nobody’s talking about it, but I will, because I’m not afraid to tell the truth. Dinosaurs—yes, dinosaurs—are coming across our southern border. From Mexico. And it’s got to stop!”

(The crowd cheers wildly, some chanting, "Build the wall! Build the wall!")

Trump:

“These aren’t the nice dinosaurs, okay? Not like Barney. These are the bad ones. Raptors, T-Rexes—very nasty. Very violent. They don’t pay taxes, they don’t learn English, and, frankly, they’re taking jobs from hardworking Americans!”

(The crowd boos the dinosaurs. Someone in the front holds up a sign: "NO VELOCIRAPTORS!")

Trump:

“So, what are we gonna do? You know what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna build a big, beautiful wall. A dinosaur-proof wall! Twenty stories high. No, fifty stories! Made of the strongest steel—and, frankly, it’s going to have lasers on top. You ever see a raptor dodge a laser? You won’t. Believe me, folks.”

(The crowd erupts into cheers. A guy dressed as a Velociraptor gets tackled by security.)

Trump:

“And here’s the best part. You ready for this? Mexico is going to pay for it! Because they’ve got dinosaurs too. I’ve seen them. Tremendous dinosaurs, but they’re their problem, not ours!”

(Chants of "Make America Safe Again!" echo through the stadium.)

Trump:

“Now, the fake news media, they’re gonna say, ‘Oh, Mr Trump, dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.’ Lies! Lies, folks! They’re out there. I’ve seen the evidence. Tremendous evidence. Jurassic Park—it’s practically a documentary!”

(The crowd roars with laughter and applause.)

Trump:

“We’re not just stopping dinosaurs, folks. We’re sending a message: America comes first! No more freeloading stegosauruses, no more triceratops stealing your healthcare. This is the Trump Era! Dinosaurs, extinct or not, they’re not getting in. Not on my watch!”

(The crowd goes wild as Trump exits the stage to the Jurassic Park theme, performed by a brass band wearing MAGA hats.)

“Make God Trump Again!” by ChatGPT

Scene: Trump is on stage at a packed rally. The backdrop reads: “Make God Trump Again!” There’s a golden halo CGI-ed onto his image on the giant screen. A crowd of supporters waves placards reading slogans like “In Trump We Trust” and “Genesis Was Just a Warm-Up!”

Trump struts to the podium, holding a golden microphone.

---

Trump: (gesturing grandly)

“Folks, I have some very special news for you today. You won’t believe it—it’s huge. Tremendous. People have been saying—lots of people—that I used to be, believe it or not… God. That’s right. I was the original. The Big Guy. The One Up There.” (he points vaguely skyward) “And, let me tell you, I did a fantastic job. Fantastic. Everyone says so.”

(The crowd cheers. Some chant, “Trump is holy!”)

Trump:

“Now, I don’t know exactly what happened—some fake news angel, probably Gabriel, he’s always been jealous of me, started spreading lies, saying, ‘Oh, Trump’s not God anymore.’ You believe that? Me? Not God? Ridiculous. Totally ridiculous.”

(He adjusts his tie, leaning into the mic with a conspiratorial tone.)

Trump:

“So now, folks, we’ve got a real problem. They put someone else in charge—someone weak. You know who it is? Some loser named Yahweh. Ever heard of him? Nobody’s heard of him! I mean, what kind of name is that, anyway? Sounds like a sneeze. Yah-way! Get outta here.”

(The crowd laughs and cheers as Trump nods smugly.)

Trump:

“Listen, folks, when I was God, everything was perfect. Perfect! I created the world in six days. Six! And I took the seventh day off. You know why? Because I’m efficient. Best work ethic ever. I didn’t need millions of years like those science guys talk about. Six days, boom—world done. And the world was great back then. Everyone was winning. Dinosaurs? They were winning. Then the new guy shows up, floods the place, screws everything up. Terrible. Just terrible.”

(He gestures dramatically, and the crowd boos the name “Yahweh” as if on cue.)

---

Trump: (raising his hands like a televangelist)

“So here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna Make God Trump Again! That’s right! We’re bringing me back to the top. I’ll be the best God you’ve ever seen. No more plagues, no more floods, no more burning bushes—you know, bushes are for losers. Under me, we’ll have golden golf courses in Heaven. Everyone gets a mansion. No exceptions. Even the angels will be wearing Trump suits. Very classy.”

(A supporter shouts: “What about Hell?” Trump smirks.)

Trump:

“Hell? Oh, don’t worry, folks. I’ll fix that too. We’re going to build a huge wall around Hell. A beautiful wall. And guess what? Satan’s gonna pay for it! You hear me? Satan’s paying for the wall!”

*(The crowd erupts in applause. The chant changes to: “Build that wall!”)

---

Trump: (leaning on the podium for effect)

“And let me tell you, folks, miracles? I’m the best at miracles. Water into wine? That’s rookie stuff. I’m talking… water into Diet Coke. And not just any Diet Coke—the best Diet Coke. Straight from Trump Springs, very exclusive.”

(He points at someone in the front row.)

Trump:

“You, sir! You want your sins forgiven? Done. Forgiven. Just like that. But only if you vote for me.”

(The crowd laughs as he flashes his signature thumbs-up.)

---

Trump: (his tone turning slightly menacing)

“But let me tell you something, folks. There are haters out there. Haters who don’t want me to be God again. They say, ‘Oh, Trump’s not divine.’ Can you believe that? They’re just jealous. They’re all jealous because they know I’d be the best God. Better than Zeus, better than Odin—those guys are amateurs. Zeus couldn’t even keep his pants on! Me? I’ve always been very classy. Never struck anyone with lightning unless they deserved it.”

(The crowd cheers wildly, waving their signs.)

---

Trump: (leaning in for his big finish)

“So let’s do this, folks. Let’s make it official. Let’s Make God Trump Again! You’ll see the miracles. You’ll see the winning. We’ll have so much winning in Heaven—you won’t believe it. And when we’re done, everyone’s gonna say, ‘Thank you, Trump. Thank you for being God again.’”

(The crowd explodes into cheers as a choir begins singing a gospel version of “Hail to the Chief,” complete with fireworks and a golden statue of Trump rising from the stage.)

---

End scene. 

"Make Trump A God Again!” Again by ChatGPT

Scene: Inside the Mar-a-Lago strategy room. The walls are covered in gold-framed photos of Trump, all at various stages of his career—some slightly altered to make him appear godlike, like in a Renaissance painting. A large, lavishly decorated table sits in the centre. Trump is at the head of it, looking even more smug than usual, with his hands clasped together like a visionary philosopher.

---

Trump: (slamming his fist on the table dramatically)

"Alright, folks. Listen up. We’ve done it all: we’ve made America great again. We’ve made it rich. We’ve made it powerful. But now… now we need to take it to the next level. I’m talking about making me… a god."

(The room goes quiet. Advisors look at each other, unsure whether this is just another one of Trump’s impulsive ideas or if he's serious. Finally, his top advisor, looking hesitant, speaks.)

Top Advisor:

“Sir, with all due respect, uh… a god? Like, you want to be, like, worshipped as a god?”

Trump: (grinning, as if the idea is self-evident)

“Exactly. It’s perfect. Think about it. Who else is more qualified? I’ve built the greatest buildings, I’ve run the greatest campaign, I’m the greatest businessman in history. I’ve got the best hair—the best hair, folks, it’s practically divine. I’m telling you, there is no one else who deserves it more than me. We’re gonna make Trump a god again. I’m talking about divine powers. Miracles. The whole package.”

(He stands, pacing with his arms spread wide as if giving a sermon.)

Trump:

“Imagine this: I walk into a room, and bam! Light follows me everywhere. People kneel when I enter, folks. The most powerful presence the world has ever seen. I’ll be turning water into wine at every rally. You won’t believe it. Believe me.”

(One advisor raises a hand hesitantly, trying to understand the logistics of this grand idea.)

Advisor:

“But sir, people won’t be able to see you as, you know, practical anymore. You’d need a whole new set of laws, a new system. How would the world react to, well, you becoming an actual god?”

Trump: (laughs dismissively)

“Oh, they’ll love it. I’ve got the best ideas. Everyone’s been talking about the new world order, and I’ve been saying, we need a new world. A world with me at the top, and everyone below me worshipping. I’ll make the greatest temples, folks. Huge, golden temples, the biggest temples. Tremendous temples. People will come from all over just to catch a glimpse of me. And I won’t even need to show up in person. I’ll be the temple. I’ll be the worshipped idol.”

(One advisor, trying to stay rational, asks again.)

Advisor:

“Right, but you can’t just, you know, make yourself a god. It’s a whole religious thing. You need followers, rituals, you need… uh, miracles.”

Trump: (beaming with pride as if he's already solved all these problems)

“Done. I’m already a god, folks, I just need to let everyone else catch up. All I have to do is tell people I’m a god, and boom, they’ll believe it. I’ll make a few appearances, and suddenly, everyone will start thinking, ‘Wait, maybe Trump is a god.’ It’s so simple. I’ve already got the best followers. The greatest supporters. All they need is a little guidance. The divine guidance of their one true god—Trump!”

(Trump, imagining his newfound godliness, continues to pace back and forth, excitedly elaborating.)

Trump:

“And think about it: I can just manifest things. I’ll have people say, ‘Trump, make the economy even better.’ And boom! Gold. People will say, ‘Trump, make the country safer.’ And boom! Peace. I’ll be able to control the weather, folks. I’ll make it sunny for every golf game. Hail the Trump god!”

(A skeptical advisor looks around the room, trying to grasp the logistics.)

Skeptical Advisor:

“But… sir, what about, you know, actually ruling as a god? You can’t run the country like that. What if people, uh, question your divine powers?”

Trump: (smiling, sure of himself)

“They won’t. Trust me, no one’s going to question a god. I’ll have the best angels. The best celestial army. They’ll protect me. No one will challenge my authority. They’ll know—I am Trump, I am God. I’ll bring divine order to America. And beyond. A new era—the greatest era in history.”

(He pauses, looking at the room, waiting for someone to challenge him, but all are silent, unsure of how to respond. Trump looks pleased with his own idea.)

Trump:

“I’m telling you, folks, this is going to be huge. The greatest re-election campaign. The greatest divinity campaign. Just wait. I’ll make the whole world bow before me. You’re going to see it. It’s going to be tremendous. So let’s get this done. Make Trump a god again!”

---

End scene.

"Make Trump A God Again!" by ChatGPT

Scene: Inside the Mar-a-Lago strategy room. Trump is pacing around the room, gesturing wildly, a slight tremor in his hands. He looks just a bit more disheveled than usual, but his confidence is as grandiose as ever. His advisors sit around the table, exchanging worried glances but trying to stay quiet, unsure of how to handle what’s happening.

---

Trump: (suddenly slamming his hand on the table, startling everyone)

“Alright, listen up, folks. I’ve had a great idea. The greatest idea. It’s time to… it’s time to make me—what was I saying again?”

(He pauses, glances around the room, then continues with a burst of energy.)

Trump:

“Right! A god. I’ve decided that I’m going to be the god of this country. And the whole world, really. I’ll be the best god—everyone will say so. Trust me. I’ll be like, uh… like Zeus, but, you know, with way better hair.”

(A couple of advisors exchange uncomfortable glances, but one of them tries to steer the conversation.)

Top Advisor:

“Sir, I think... you might want to focus on, um, your presidency first? We’re still dealing with the election results and… well, the country is—”

Trump: (interrupting, raising a hand in the air dramatically)

“Look, look, I don’t need to explain myself. I’m already a god, okay? Everyone’s been talking about it. I’m the best. Best hair, best deals, the best. And now I’m going to make it official. You know what? Forget this country. I’m thinking global. I’m going to start with—what do you call it?—a temple. A big temple. Huge, golden, Trump-tastic. People will go to it and worship me. I’ll be like… god-like. Maybe I’ll turn some water into wine, you know, just to show off.”

(One of the advisors, nervous, tries to get more clarity.)

Advisor:

“Right, sir, I’m just not sure how exactly we… turn you into a god. I mean, gods don’t just… you can’t just say you’re one. There’s, uh, rituals, followers… miracles?”

Trump: (glancing around with an air of confusion)

“Miracles? Oh, yeah, sure. That’s a thing. I’ll do that. No problem. I’ll make miracles happen. Like, uh… maybe I’ll cure the country of all the bad stuff. It’ll be fantastic. Trust me, I’ve got the best miracles. And, um, everyone will see me and go, ‘Wow, he’s the greatest god ever.’”

(He pauses, his expression suddenly going blank for a moment as if he's forgotten where he was going with this.)

Trump:

“Wait... was I supposed to be president right now?”

(The advisors look at each other nervously, unsure how to respond.)

Top Advisor:

“Well, sir, you are the president, but—”

Trump: (ignoring the advisor, still lost in his thoughts)

“God is the word, folks. God. Trump the god. You know what? Let’s go bigger. I’ll have worshippers. They’ll follow me around, and they’ll pray to me. Maybe I’ll have, like… a golden calf or something, but way better than that old Bible one. Tremendous. Maybe I’ll even give out, uh… golden bibles, like limited edition ones. The best ones.”

(One of the younger advisors, trying to make sense of this, cautiously responds.)

Young Advisor:

“Sir, uh… I think that sounds like a cult. Do you want to, like… be a leader of a religion or—?”

Trump: (looking at the young advisor as if they’ve just said something extremely offensive)

“No! No cults. This is the real thing. I’m not talking about any cult. I’m talking about global worship, okay? People will kneel before me—as they should.”

(He pauses, a far-off look in his eyes, his voice taking on a more confused tone.)

Trump:

“Wait, wait... What was I saying? Oh! Right! A god. I’m already a god. Everyone's gonna know it. And we’ll… we’ll get rid of all the bad stuff. Like, uh… I’ll turn America into a golden paradise. People will look at me and say, ‘Wow, that’s the guy.’"

(He’s now trailing off, muttering to himself, almost losing his train of thought, before suddenly snapping back to his grandiosity.)

Trump:

"Greatest god, folks. The biggest god. No one’s ever seen anything like it. You wait. You wait.”

(A long pause. His advisors look at each other with a growing sense of discomfort. But none of them speak, unwilling to challenge his increasingly erratic thoughts. Trump stands up suddenly, as though a new revelation has hit him.)

Trump: (triumphantly)

“You know what? Let’s do it. Make Trump a god again! This is going to be HUGE. Nobody’s ever seen a god like me. You’re all witnesses. Just wait. The world will bow to me. I’m talking about, uh, like, miracles, and people will believe it. Believe me.”

(The advisors remain silent, some looking to one another with concern, unsure if they should confront him or just let him keep going.)

Trump: (as though concluding a grand speech, almost to himself)

“I’ve done it all, folks. Built the biggest buildings, been the best president, and now… now I’m going to be a god.” (pauses for dramatic effect)

“I mean… that makes sense, right?”

(The scene ends with Trump confidently nodding to himself as the advisors awkwardly exchange glances.)

---

End scene.

"Make Media Great Again!" by ChatGPT

Scene: Trump is standing at a podium, holding a rally to discuss his plan to make all media “Republican again.” His supporters cheer wildly, hanging on every word, as Trump begins to speak with his usual bravado.

---

Trump: (grinning widely, hands on the podium)

“Alright, folks, you’re all going to love this. You know the media, right? All those fake news outlets that have been so unfair to me. I’m talking about CNN, NBC, even Fox—yes, even Fox, folks. They’ve all been letting the Democrats control the narrative. But guess what? That’s going to change. We’re going to make all media Republican again, folks. All of it. And it’s going to be huge.”

(The crowd erupts into cheers, chanting "Make Media Great Again!")

Trump: (pointing into the distance as if envisioning the future)

“We’re going to take back the airwaves, folks. You’re gonna turn on your TV, and you won’t hear about anyone but me. It’ll be all Trump, all the time, folks. Just the best stories, the best news—no more fake polls, no more lying anchors. Everything you see will be perfect. You’ll see it on your local news, on your cable news, even on those little streaming things you people use now—I don’t know how it works, but we’ll make it happen!”

(He paces a bit, getting more animated.)

Trump:

“First thing we’ll do is, we’ll just buy every media outlet. That’s right. You know how I bought up casinos? This will be way bigger. We’re talking about entire networks—CNN? Gone. NBC? Bye-bye. I’ll buy them all, and you know what’s gonna happen? They’ll all be Trump 24/7, folks. 100% Republican news. You’ll be waking up with Trump, having breakfast with Trump, going to bed with Trump. Every story, every headline will be about me.”

(The crowd claps and cheers, but Trump continues, oblivious to how ludicrous the idea sounds.)

Trump:

“And these news anchors? I’m going to bring in the best—the most loyal, folks. They won’t question me. They won’t ask hard questions. They’ll be just saying the right thing. You’ll watch your news and think, ‘This is exactly what I want to hear!’ They’ll be giving you the Trump story, 100% of the time. No interruptions, no nonsense. Just facts, folks. My facts.”

(He pauses, as if realizing something truly profound, then continues with a smug grin.)

Trump:

"Now, let’s talk about the weather, alright? Right now, they tell you about the rain, the snow, the clouds—they don’t even make it fun! They’re all, ‘Oh, it’s going to rain.’ Well, guess what, folks? In the new, Republican media, every storm is going to be huge. We’ll call them ‘Trump storms,’ and they’ll be the biggest, the most amazing storms you’ve ever seen. When it rains, it’ll rain Trump. When it snows, it’ll be a Trump blizzard. And you’ll all be like, ‘That’s the greatest snowstorm in the history of snowstorms!’"

(The crowd is laughing and clapping, some unsure where this is going but enjoying the spectacle.)

Trump:

“We’ll even have our own version of sports coverage. Forget the Super Bowl, forget the World Series. We’ll have the Trump Cup, folks. The greatest sports event in the history of the world. Every player will be wearing Trump gear. No more kneeling, no more protests. It’ll be all about winning, all about America. Every team will be the best. And guess what? I’ll be the commissioner. Best commissioner. Ever. Believe me."

(A cheer erupts from the crowd.)

Trump: (leaning forward, almost conspiratorially)

“Now, let’s talk about the internet. We’re going to take over the whole thing. Social media? All Trump. You won’t be able to log in to anything without seeing me. Instagram? Trump. Twitter? Trump. Facebook? Trump, folks, all Trump. You won’t even have to leave your couch. Just scroll through and it’ll be Trump, Trump, Trump. And guess what? It’ll be perfect. No more ‘disinformation.’ Just the truth—my truth."

(He pauses dramatically.)

Trump:

"And you know what else? We’ll make sure that every time you turn on the TV, no matter the time of day, it’ll be all Trump-related programming. Cooking shows? Trump recipes. Nature documentaries? Trump animals. Even the cartoons for kids will feature Trump—maybe even a Trump animated superhero who wins every battle. It'll be the most tremendous thing you’ve ever seen."

(The crowd is applauding wildly now, some even chanting "Trump TV!")

Trump: (smiling broadly)

“That’s right, folks. We’re going to make media great again. All of it. Every story, every piece of news, every social feed will be Trump. You won’t be able to escape it. And you won’t want to, because it’ll be the best. The only news that matters."

(The crowd cheers, chanting "Trump 2025" as Trump gives a final, satisfied nod.)

Trump:

"And if anyone tries to push back? We’ll shut them down. We’ll even do it with a press conference—my press conference. Best press conferences. No one will dare speak against Trump, folks. It’s going to be huge."

(He waves to the crowd and walks off, the chant of "Trump TV!" echoing as they go wild.)