Scene: Satan’s Psychotherapy Office – George Costanza, Client
Setting: Satan, dressed in a sharp suit, sits behind a desk in a dark office. His diploma and “World’s Best Dad” plaque hang on the wall. George, nervously seated on the couch, glances at the plaque.
Satan: (leaning back) “So, George, what’s eating you? I can see you’re burning with issues.”
George: (fidgeting) “I’m a wreck, Satan. I’m a disaster! I can’t get anything right. My life’s a joke.”
Satan: “Mm, classic case of ‘I’m my own worst enemy.’ I’m an expert.” (gestures to his diploma) “See that? I studied this.”
George: (looking at the plaque) “World’s Best Dad? You’re Satan. How do you even...”
Satan: (grinning) “Oh, you’d be surprised. I’m fatherly... in a hellish kind of way.”
George: “But you’re not a dad!”
Satan: “Details. Let’s focus. What’s the problem?”
George: “I’m constantly messing up! I had an argument with my boss over a stapler—a stapler, Satan! I can’t get anything right!”
Satan: (smiling) “Ah, the little things. I get it. So, here’s the deal, George: you’ve got to embrace the chaos.”
George: (eyes widening) “What? Chaos? You want me to just... go crazy?”
Satan: “Not crazy, just unhinged. Stop worrying. Just let it happen. Order is for amateurs.”
George: (panicking) “I can’t just stop worrying! What if the burger’s not right? What if I choke? WHAT IF IT’S THE WRONG BUN?”
Satan: (laughing) “Ah, see? That’s your problem. You’re too concerned with the bun. Just eat it. Embrace the disaster.”
George: (pauses) “So... being a disaster is the key to success?”
Satan: (grinning) “Exactly. You’ve got a brand, George. Own it.”
George: (smiling) “You know... I think I might just be the disaster I’m meant to be.”
Satan: (nodding) “That’s the spirit. And remember—my diploma’s legitimate. So is my fatherhood.”
END SCENE
