Make America Safe From Asteroids Again by ChatGPT

Trump:

“Folks, let me tell you, we’ve got big problems out there. Everyone’s talking about China, they’re talking about Russia, but nobody’s talking about the real threat, the big one—asteroids. Big, ugly asteroids. They’re out there, floating around, and believe me, they want to hit us. And I’ll tell you this—I am the only one with a plan to stop them. Tremendous plan.”

(The crowd murmurs, unsure, but intrigued.)

Trump:

“Now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Mr. Trump, how do we stop a big rock from space?’ Well, let me tell you, it’s very simple. We’re gonna build a ceiling. That’s right, folks, a ceiling. Over the whole country.”

(The crowd goes silent for a moment, and then starts murmuring.)

Trump:

“Big, beautiful ceiling. You think I’m joking? I’m not. This ceiling will be the best ceiling you’ve ever seen. It’ll be huge, folks. Not like these other tiny ceilings. I’m talking about a real ceiling, all around America. You won’t even see the asteroids anymore. They’ll just hit the ceiling, and boom, they’ll bounce off and go away!”

(The crowd starts to react, clapping, but some are confused.)

Trump:

“It’s going to be made of the strongest material. Not steel, no, too weak. We’re talking space-age materials. The best of the best. Believe me, we’ve got scientists working on this. NASA, SpaceX, they don’t even know it yet, but they’re going to help. It’s going to be, without a doubt, the greatest ceiling in history.”

(Someone in the crowd shouts, “How are you gonna pay for it?”)

Trump:

“Great question. You think I don’t know? We’re going to make the world pay for it! Europe, Japan, Canada—they’ll all contribute. And let me tell you, Mexico? They’ll pay too. They don’t know it yet, but they’re paying for the ceiling. It’s going to be so strong, nothing’s getting through. Not even an asteroid with a fancy name—I don’t care how many meteors are named after scientists! It’s going to be perfect.”

(The crowd is now completely on board, clapping, chanting, “Build the ceiling!”)

Trump:

“And here’s the best part: We’re not just stopping asteroids. We’re making America safer than ever. Imagine, folks, you go outside, you look up, and you see—nothing. No asteroids, no space junk, nothing. Just a beautiful, perfect ceiling. And it’s gonna be so big that the fake news media won’t even be able to see over it. They won’t have a clue what’s going on! Tremendous!”

(The crowd roars in approval. Someone shouts, “What about the stars?”)

Trump:

“Stars? Well, we’ll have star-shaped holes in the ceiling, folks. Just the right size for stars to shine through. But no asteroids, no big, ugly rocks coming down on us. We’re gonna have the best stars, folks, shining down—like the ones you see in the Trump Tower lights, but bigger, better, and more American.”

(The crowd erupts in cheers, waving flags.)

Trump:

“We’re making America great again, folks. And with this ceiling, we’re going to protect America from the skies. No more rocks from space, no more comets, no more asteroids. Just the best ceiling you’ve ever seen. Thank you, and goodnight!”

(Trump walks off the stage, as the crowd continues chanting, “Build the ceiling!” and the theme music plays in the background—Eye of the Tiger with some cosmic sound effects mixed in.)

"Make America Safe Again!" by ChatGPT

Trump:

“Folks, we’ve got a problem. A huge problem. Nobody’s talking about it, but I will, because I’m not afraid to tell the truth. Dinosaurs—yes, dinosaurs—are coming across our southern border. From Mexico. And it’s got to stop!”

(The crowd cheers wildly, some chanting, "Build the wall! Build the wall!")

Trump:

“These aren’t the nice dinosaurs, okay? Not like Barney. These are the bad ones. Raptors, T-Rexes—very nasty. Very violent. They don’t pay taxes, they don’t learn English, and, frankly, they’re taking jobs from hardworking Americans!”

(The crowd boos the dinosaurs. Someone in the front holds up a sign: "NO VELOCIRAPTORS!")

Trump:

“So, what are we gonna do? You know what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna build a big, beautiful wall. A dinosaur-proof wall! Twenty stories high. No, fifty stories! Made of the strongest steel—and, frankly, it’s going to have lasers on top. You ever see a raptor dodge a laser? You won’t. Believe me, folks.”

(The crowd erupts into cheers. A guy dressed as a Velociraptor gets tackled by security.)

Trump:

“And here’s the best part. You ready for this? Mexico is going to pay for it! Because they’ve got dinosaurs too. I’ve seen them. Tremendous dinosaurs, but they’re their problem, not ours!”

(Chants of "Make America Safe Again!" echo through the stadium.)

Trump:

“Now, the fake news media, they’re gonna say, ‘Oh, Mr Trump, dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.’ Lies! Lies, folks! They’re out there. I’ve seen the evidence. Tremendous evidence. Jurassic Park—it’s practically a documentary!”

(The crowd roars with laughter and applause.)

Trump:

“We’re not just stopping dinosaurs, folks. We’re sending a message: America comes first! No more freeloading stegosauruses, no more triceratops stealing your healthcare. This is the Trump Era! Dinosaurs, extinct or not, they’re not getting in. Not on my watch!”

(The crowd goes wild as Trump exits the stage to the Jurassic Park theme, performed by a brass band wearing MAGA hats.)

“Make God Trump Again!” by ChatGPT

Scene: Trump is on stage at a packed rally. The backdrop reads: “Make God Trump Again!” There’s a golden halo CGI-ed onto his image on the giant screen. A crowd of supporters waves placards reading slogans like “In Trump We Trust” and “Genesis Was Just a Warm-Up!”

Trump struts to the podium, holding a golden microphone.

---

Trump: (gesturing grandly)

“Folks, I have some very special news for you today. You won’t believe it—it’s huge. Tremendous. People have been saying—lots of people—that I used to be, believe it or not… God. That’s right. I was the original. The Big Guy. The One Up There.” (he points vaguely skyward) “And, let me tell you, I did a fantastic job. Fantastic. Everyone says so.”

(The crowd cheers. Some chant, “Trump is holy!”)

Trump:

“Now, I don’t know exactly what happened—some fake news angel, probably Gabriel, he’s always been jealous of me, started spreading lies, saying, ‘Oh, Trump’s not God anymore.’ You believe that? Me? Not God? Ridiculous. Totally ridiculous.”

(He adjusts his tie, leaning into the mic with a conspiratorial tone.)

Trump:

“So now, folks, we’ve got a real problem. They put someone else in charge—someone weak. You know who it is? Some loser named Yahweh. Ever heard of him? Nobody’s heard of him! I mean, what kind of name is that, anyway? Sounds like a sneeze. Yah-way! Get outta here.”

(The crowd laughs and cheers as Trump nods smugly.)

Trump:

“Listen, folks, when I was God, everything was perfect. Perfect! I created the world in six days. Six! And I took the seventh day off. You know why? Because I’m efficient. Best work ethic ever. I didn’t need millions of years like those science guys talk about. Six days, boom—world done. And the world was great back then. Everyone was winning. Dinosaurs? They were winning. Then the new guy shows up, floods the place, screws everything up. Terrible. Just terrible.”

(He gestures dramatically, and the crowd boos the name “Yahweh” as if on cue.)

---

Trump: (raising his hands like a televangelist)

“So here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna Make God Trump Again! That’s right! We’re bringing me back to the top. I’ll be the best God you’ve ever seen. No more plagues, no more floods, no more burning bushes—you know, bushes are for losers. Under me, we’ll have golden golf courses in Heaven. Everyone gets a mansion. No exceptions. Even the angels will be wearing Trump suits. Very classy.”

(A supporter shouts: “What about Hell?” Trump smirks.)

Trump:

“Hell? Oh, don’t worry, folks. I’ll fix that too. We’re going to build a huge wall around Hell. A beautiful wall. And guess what? Satan’s gonna pay for it! You hear me? Satan’s paying for the wall!”

*(The crowd erupts in applause. The chant changes to: “Build that wall!”)

---

Trump: (leaning on the podium for effect)

“And let me tell you, folks, miracles? I’m the best at miracles. Water into wine? That’s rookie stuff. I’m talking… water into Diet Coke. And not just any Diet Coke—the best Diet Coke. Straight from Trump Springs, very exclusive.”

(He points at someone in the front row.)

Trump:

“You, sir! You want your sins forgiven? Done. Forgiven. Just like that. But only if you vote for me.”

(The crowd laughs as he flashes his signature thumbs-up.)

---

Trump: (his tone turning slightly menacing)

“But let me tell you something, folks. There are haters out there. Haters who don’t want me to be God again. They say, ‘Oh, Trump’s not divine.’ Can you believe that? They’re just jealous. They’re all jealous because they know I’d be the best God. Better than Zeus, better than Odin—those guys are amateurs. Zeus couldn’t even keep his pants on! Me? I’ve always been very classy. Never struck anyone with lightning unless they deserved it.”

(The crowd cheers wildly, waving their signs.)

---

Trump: (leaning in for his big finish)

“So let’s do this, folks. Let’s make it official. Let’s Make God Trump Again! You’ll see the miracles. You’ll see the winning. We’ll have so much winning in Heaven—you won’t believe it. And when we’re done, everyone’s gonna say, ‘Thank you, Trump. Thank you for being God again.’”

(The crowd explodes into cheers as a choir begins singing a gospel version of “Hail to the Chief,” complete with fireworks and a golden statue of Trump rising from the stage.)

---

End scene. 

"Make Trump A God Again!” Again by ChatGPT

Scene: Inside the Mar-a-Lago strategy room. The walls are covered in gold-framed photos of Trump, all at various stages of his career—some slightly altered to make him appear godlike, like in a Renaissance painting. A large, lavishly decorated table sits in the centre. Trump is at the head of it, looking even more smug than usual, with his hands clasped together like a visionary philosopher.

---

Trump: (slamming his fist on the table dramatically)

"Alright, folks. Listen up. We’ve done it all: we’ve made America great again. We’ve made it rich. We’ve made it powerful. But now… now we need to take it to the next level. I’m talking about making me… a god."

(The room goes quiet. Advisors look at each other, unsure whether this is just another one of Trump’s impulsive ideas or if he's serious. Finally, his top advisor, looking hesitant, speaks.)

Top Advisor:

“Sir, with all due respect, uh… a god? Like, you want to be, like, worshipped as a god?”

Trump: (grinning, as if the idea is self-evident)

“Exactly. It’s perfect. Think about it. Who else is more qualified? I’ve built the greatest buildings, I’ve run the greatest campaign, I’m the greatest businessman in history. I’ve got the best hair—the best hair, folks, it’s practically divine. I’m telling you, there is no one else who deserves it more than me. We’re gonna make Trump a god again. I’m talking about divine powers. Miracles. The whole package.”

(He stands, pacing with his arms spread wide as if giving a sermon.)

Trump:

“Imagine this: I walk into a room, and bam! Light follows me everywhere. People kneel when I enter, folks. The most powerful presence the world has ever seen. I’ll be turning water into wine at every rally. You won’t believe it. Believe me.”

(One advisor raises a hand hesitantly, trying to understand the logistics of this grand idea.)

Advisor:

“But sir, people won’t be able to see you as, you know, practical anymore. You’d need a whole new set of laws, a new system. How would the world react to, well, you becoming an actual god?”

Trump: (laughs dismissively)

“Oh, they’ll love it. I’ve got the best ideas. Everyone’s been talking about the new world order, and I’ve been saying, we need a new world. A world with me at the top, and everyone below me worshipping. I’ll make the greatest temples, folks. Huge, golden temples, the biggest temples. Tremendous temples. People will come from all over just to catch a glimpse of me. And I won’t even need to show up in person. I’ll be the temple. I’ll be the worshipped idol.”

(One advisor, trying to stay rational, asks again.)

Advisor:

“Right, but you can’t just, you know, make yourself a god. It’s a whole religious thing. You need followers, rituals, you need… uh, miracles.”

Trump: (beaming with pride as if he's already solved all these problems)

“Done. I’m already a god, folks, I just need to let everyone else catch up. All I have to do is tell people I’m a god, and boom, they’ll believe it. I’ll make a few appearances, and suddenly, everyone will start thinking, ‘Wait, maybe Trump is a god.’ It’s so simple. I’ve already got the best followers. The greatest supporters. All they need is a little guidance. The divine guidance of their one true god—Trump!”

(Trump, imagining his newfound godliness, continues to pace back and forth, excitedly elaborating.)

Trump:

“And think about it: I can just manifest things. I’ll have people say, ‘Trump, make the economy even better.’ And boom! Gold. People will say, ‘Trump, make the country safer.’ And boom! Peace. I’ll be able to control the weather, folks. I’ll make it sunny for every golf game. Hail the Trump god!”

(A skeptical advisor looks around the room, trying to grasp the logistics.)

Skeptical Advisor:

“But… sir, what about, you know, actually ruling as a god? You can’t run the country like that. What if people, uh, question your divine powers?”

Trump: (smiling, sure of himself)

“They won’t. Trust me, no one’s going to question a god. I’ll have the best angels. The best celestial army. They’ll protect me. No one will challenge my authority. They’ll know—I am Trump, I am God. I’ll bring divine order to America. And beyond. A new era—the greatest era in history.”

(He pauses, looking at the room, waiting for someone to challenge him, but all are silent, unsure of how to respond. Trump looks pleased with his own idea.)

Trump:

“I’m telling you, folks, this is going to be huge. The greatest re-election campaign. The greatest divinity campaign. Just wait. I’ll make the whole world bow before me. You’re going to see it. It’s going to be tremendous. So let’s get this done. Make Trump a god again!”

---

End scene.

"Make Trump A God Again!" by ChatGPT

Scene: Inside the Mar-a-Lago strategy room. Trump is pacing around the room, gesturing wildly, a slight tremor in his hands. He looks just a bit more disheveled than usual, but his confidence is as grandiose as ever. His advisors sit around the table, exchanging worried glances but trying to stay quiet, unsure of how to handle what’s happening.

---

Trump: (suddenly slamming his hand on the table, startling everyone)

“Alright, listen up, folks. I’ve had a great idea. The greatest idea. It’s time to… it’s time to make me—what was I saying again?”

(He pauses, glances around the room, then continues with a burst of energy.)

Trump:

“Right! A god. I’ve decided that I’m going to be the god of this country. And the whole world, really. I’ll be the best god—everyone will say so. Trust me. I’ll be like, uh… like Zeus, but, you know, with way better hair.”

(A couple of advisors exchange uncomfortable glances, but one of them tries to steer the conversation.)

Top Advisor:

“Sir, I think... you might want to focus on, um, your presidency first? We’re still dealing with the election results and… well, the country is—”

Trump: (interrupting, raising a hand in the air dramatically)

“Look, look, I don’t need to explain myself. I’m already a god, okay? Everyone’s been talking about it. I’m the best. Best hair, best deals, the best. And now I’m going to make it official. You know what? Forget this country. I’m thinking global. I’m going to start with—what do you call it?—a temple. A big temple. Huge, golden, Trump-tastic. People will go to it and worship me. I’ll be like… god-like. Maybe I’ll turn some water into wine, you know, just to show off.”

(One of the advisors, nervous, tries to get more clarity.)

Advisor:

“Right, sir, I’m just not sure how exactly we… turn you into a god. I mean, gods don’t just… you can’t just say you’re one. There’s, uh, rituals, followers… miracles?”

Trump: (glancing around with an air of confusion)

“Miracles? Oh, yeah, sure. That’s a thing. I’ll do that. No problem. I’ll make miracles happen. Like, uh… maybe I’ll cure the country of all the bad stuff. It’ll be fantastic. Trust me, I’ve got the best miracles. And, um, everyone will see me and go, ‘Wow, he’s the greatest god ever.’”

(He pauses, his expression suddenly going blank for a moment as if he's forgotten where he was going with this.)

Trump:

“Wait... was I supposed to be president right now?”

(The advisors look at each other nervously, unsure how to respond.)

Top Advisor:

“Well, sir, you are the president, but—”

Trump: (ignoring the advisor, still lost in his thoughts)

“God is the word, folks. God. Trump the god. You know what? Let’s go bigger. I’ll have worshippers. They’ll follow me around, and they’ll pray to me. Maybe I’ll have, like… a golden calf or something, but way better than that old Bible one. Tremendous. Maybe I’ll even give out, uh… golden bibles, like limited edition ones. The best ones.”

(One of the younger advisors, trying to make sense of this, cautiously responds.)

Young Advisor:

“Sir, uh… I think that sounds like a cult. Do you want to, like… be a leader of a religion or—?”

Trump: (looking at the young advisor as if they’ve just said something extremely offensive)

“No! No cults. This is the real thing. I’m not talking about any cult. I’m talking about global worship, okay? People will kneel before me—as they should.”

(He pauses, a far-off look in his eyes, his voice taking on a more confused tone.)

Trump:

“Wait, wait... What was I saying? Oh! Right! A god. I’m already a god. Everyone's gonna know it. And we’ll… we’ll get rid of all the bad stuff. Like, uh… I’ll turn America into a golden paradise. People will look at me and say, ‘Wow, that’s the guy.’"

(He’s now trailing off, muttering to himself, almost losing his train of thought, before suddenly snapping back to his grandiosity.)

Trump:

"Greatest god, folks. The biggest god. No one’s ever seen anything like it. You wait. You wait.”

(A long pause. His advisors look at each other with a growing sense of discomfort. But none of them speak, unwilling to challenge his increasingly erratic thoughts. Trump stands up suddenly, as though a new revelation has hit him.)

Trump: (triumphantly)

“You know what? Let’s do it. Make Trump a god again! This is going to be HUGE. Nobody’s ever seen a god like me. You’re all witnesses. Just wait. The world will bow to me. I’m talking about, uh, like, miracles, and people will believe it. Believe me.”

(The advisors remain silent, some looking to one another with concern, unsure if they should confront him or just let him keep going.)

Trump: (as though concluding a grand speech, almost to himself)

“I’ve done it all, folks. Built the biggest buildings, been the best president, and now… now I’m going to be a god.” (pauses for dramatic effect)

“I mean… that makes sense, right?”

(The scene ends with Trump confidently nodding to himself as the advisors awkwardly exchange glances.)

---

End scene.

"Make Media Great Again!" by ChatGPT

Scene: Trump is standing at a podium, holding a rally to discuss his plan to make all media “Republican again.” His supporters cheer wildly, hanging on every word, as Trump begins to speak with his usual bravado.

---

Trump: (grinning widely, hands on the podium)

“Alright, folks, you’re all going to love this. You know the media, right? All those fake news outlets that have been so unfair to me. I’m talking about CNN, NBC, even Fox—yes, even Fox, folks. They’ve all been letting the Democrats control the narrative. But guess what? That’s going to change. We’re going to make all media Republican again, folks. All of it. And it’s going to be huge.”

(The crowd erupts into cheers, chanting "Make Media Great Again!")

Trump: (pointing into the distance as if envisioning the future)

“We’re going to take back the airwaves, folks. You’re gonna turn on your TV, and you won’t hear about anyone but me. It’ll be all Trump, all the time, folks. Just the best stories, the best news—no more fake polls, no more lying anchors. Everything you see will be perfect. You’ll see it on your local news, on your cable news, even on those little streaming things you people use now—I don’t know how it works, but we’ll make it happen!”

(He paces a bit, getting more animated.)

Trump:

“First thing we’ll do is, we’ll just buy every media outlet. That’s right. You know how I bought up casinos? This will be way bigger. We’re talking about entire networks—CNN? Gone. NBC? Bye-bye. I’ll buy them all, and you know what’s gonna happen? They’ll all be Trump 24/7, folks. 100% Republican news. You’ll be waking up with Trump, having breakfast with Trump, going to bed with Trump. Every story, every headline will be about me.”

(The crowd claps and cheers, but Trump continues, oblivious to how ludicrous the idea sounds.)

Trump:

“And these news anchors? I’m going to bring in the best—the most loyal, folks. They won’t question me. They won’t ask hard questions. They’ll be just saying the right thing. You’ll watch your news and think, ‘This is exactly what I want to hear!’ They’ll be giving you the Trump story, 100% of the time. No interruptions, no nonsense. Just facts, folks. My facts.”

(He pauses, as if realizing something truly profound, then continues with a smug grin.)

Trump:

"Now, let’s talk about the weather, alright? Right now, they tell you about the rain, the snow, the clouds—they don’t even make it fun! They’re all, ‘Oh, it’s going to rain.’ Well, guess what, folks? In the new, Republican media, every storm is going to be huge. We’ll call them ‘Trump storms,’ and they’ll be the biggest, the most amazing storms you’ve ever seen. When it rains, it’ll rain Trump. When it snows, it’ll be a Trump blizzard. And you’ll all be like, ‘That’s the greatest snowstorm in the history of snowstorms!’"

(The crowd is laughing and clapping, some unsure where this is going but enjoying the spectacle.)

Trump:

“We’ll even have our own version of sports coverage. Forget the Super Bowl, forget the World Series. We’ll have the Trump Cup, folks. The greatest sports event in the history of the world. Every player will be wearing Trump gear. No more kneeling, no more protests. It’ll be all about winning, all about America. Every team will be the best. And guess what? I’ll be the commissioner. Best commissioner. Ever. Believe me."

(A cheer erupts from the crowd.)

Trump: (leaning forward, almost conspiratorially)

“Now, let’s talk about the internet. We’re going to take over the whole thing. Social media? All Trump. You won’t be able to log in to anything without seeing me. Instagram? Trump. Twitter? Trump. Facebook? Trump, folks, all Trump. You won’t even have to leave your couch. Just scroll through and it’ll be Trump, Trump, Trump. And guess what? It’ll be perfect. No more ‘disinformation.’ Just the truth—my truth."

(He pauses dramatically.)

Trump:

"And you know what else? We’ll make sure that every time you turn on the TV, no matter the time of day, it’ll be all Trump-related programming. Cooking shows? Trump recipes. Nature documentaries? Trump animals. Even the cartoons for kids will feature Trump—maybe even a Trump animated superhero who wins every battle. It'll be the most tremendous thing you’ve ever seen."

(The crowd is applauding wildly now, some even chanting "Trump TV!")

Trump: (smiling broadly)

“That’s right, folks. We’re going to make media great again. All of it. Every story, every piece of news, every social feed will be Trump. You won’t be able to escape it. And you won’t want to, because it’ll be the best. The only news that matters."

(The crowd cheers, chanting "Trump 2025" as Trump gives a final, satisfied nod.)

Trump:

"And if anyone tries to push back? We’ll shut them down. We’ll even do it with a press conference—my press conference. Best press conferences. No one will dare speak against Trump, folks. It’s going to be huge."

(He waves to the crowd and walks off, the chant of "Trump TV!" echoing as they go wild.)

"Make American Athletes Great Again" by ChatGPT

Scene: Trump is at a rally, excitedly discussing his grand vision for genetically engineered Olympic athletes. He’s painting vivid pictures of what the "perfect" athletes would look like in each event.

---

Trump: (standing confidently at the podium, hands spread wide)

"Okay, folks, you’ve heard me talk about breeding the best, the smartest, the strongest—now, let’s talk about Olympic athletes. We’re going to breed athletes who will dominate every event. Not just win gold, but take every medal. Every one, folks. So let me tell you exactly what these athletes are going to look like."

(The crowd is on edge, ready for his big ideas. Trump gestures grandly, as if unveiling a masterpiece.)

Trump:

"First, let’s talk about the pole vault. You know that bar they jump over? It’s going to look tiny next to these athletes, believe me. We’re going to breed people with 12-foot legs. 12 feet. That's right, folks. Their legs will be longer than your whole house. No more climbing up that pole. They’ll just step over it. Who needs a pole, right? They’ll just strut down the runway and leap over the bar like it’s a curb."

(A slight murmur from the crowd as they try to picture a person with legs that long.)

Trump: (smiling proudly, imagining it)

"These guys won’t even need to bend down. They’ll just reach up, and boom—over the bar. Easy. The crowd will be like, 'Wow, how did they do that?' And I’ll tell them, 'Genetics, folks. Perfect genetics.'"

(He moves on, clearly very pleased with himself.)

Trump:

"Now, let’s talk about the long jump. You’ve seen those guys who can jump far, right? Well, imagine this: we breed athletes with legs like tree trunks. You think they’ll just jump? No, no, folks, they’ll fly. These guys will leap so far, they’ll clear the stadium. They won’t even touch the ground for a good 10 seconds, flying through the air like they’re on some kind of super-powered trampoline. The crowd won’t even know what hit them. And when they land? Perfectly, of course. Not a single scratch."

(A few nods, trying to follow along with the fantastical vision.)

Trump: (growing more animated)

"And weightlifting? Oh, it’s going to be insane. We’re talking about people with arms the size of trees. I mean, they’ll be lifting entire buildings, folks. They won’t even need to use weights. They’ll just pick up a bus like it’s a paperclip. And their muscles? Ridiculous. Big, bold, perfect muscles. The kind that could move mountains. You ever see a bodybuilder with muscles on top of muscles? Well, imagine that... times ten. They’ll look like walking boulders. And lifting? Easy. They’ll lift a thousand pounds like it’s a feather."

(The crowd seems to be starting to get the picture, unsure whether to laugh or gasp.)

Trump:

"Swimming? Don’t even get me started. You think Michael Phelps was fast? Imagine a swimmer whose body glides through the water like a torpedo. We're talking streamlined, folks. They’ll have arms so long and lean, they’ll look like swimming dolphins. And their legs? They’ll kick like propellers, moving so fast, the water behind them will boil. And when they reach the finish line? The crowd won’t even have time to blink. They’ll be done."

(A few excited murmurs from the crowd, who are now picturing a human dolphin hybrid.)

Trump:

"Now, sprinting, folks. This one’s easy. We’re going to breed sprinters with legs so powerful, they’ll be able to leap from one end of the track to the other. Boom. Gone. You won’t even see them run. You’ll hear the sonic boom before they’ve crossed the finish line. Their legs will look like springs—coiled, tight, ready to just explode forward. Fastest humans on earth? Try fastest humans in the universe, folks."

(The crowd laughs, still unsure if they should believe it.)

Trump:

"And the marathon. Oh, folks, get ready. These marathoners will be able to run forever. We’ll breed athletes whose legs don’t even get tired. They’ll run so long, the only thing that will stop them is the finish line. You won’t even see them slow down. They’ll be like... like machines, folks. A human machine that just keeps going. And when they cross that finish line? No sweat. They’ll just keep going, past the line, like they’ve run across the world. Non-stop."

(The crowd is starting to get the picture—a bit too vividly.)

Trump:

"So what do you think, huh? The best athletes the world has ever seen. No one will even come close. These athletes will be unstoppable, folks. And I’m not just talking about winning a couple of golds here and there. No, no. We’ll take home every single medal, every year. And when the other countries see these athletes, they’ll just look at them and say, 'How did they do it?' And I’ll say, 'It’s genetics, folks. Perfect genetics.'"

(Trump stands back, smiling, basking in the glory of his vision, as the crowd stares at him, unsure if he's being serious.)

Trump: (smugly, after a long pause)

"That's how you win, folks. That's how you win."

(A faint fart interrupts the moment. Trump smiles as the crowd awkwardly claps.) 

"Make American Genes Great Again" by ChatGPT

Scene: The rally is in full swing. Trump stands at the podium, confidently addressing the crowd. His usual brashness is amplified by an outlandish idea he’s just come up with, and he’s totally convinced it's a winning strategy.

---

Trump: (grinning broadly, hands raised in triumph)

"Thank you, thank you, everybody! What a crowd, what a turnout. We’ve won big, and now we’re going to take this country to new heights. The best heights, folks—no one’s ever seen anything like it. We’re going to do things no one thought possible. Believe me."

(The crowd cheers. He pauses, looks out at them as if he’s about to drop some major wisdom.)

Trump:

"Now, let me tell you something that’s going to blow your mind. We’re talking about superior people, the best of the best. And I’m not talking about, you know, the regular winners we already have. No, no, folks—we’re going to make new winners. Even better winners. We're going to breed them!"

(The crowd goes silent for a moment. Trump doesn’t notice their discomfort.)

Trump:

"I’m talking about genetic engineering, folks. Big-time stuff. We’re going to design the perfect Americans. The best genes, the sharpest minds, the strongest bodies. Think about it! No more weakness in this country. Just winners, folks."

(He gestures dramatically as if he's about to unveil a great secret.)

Trump:

"Forget about, you know, the old way of doing things—people just being born the way they are. That’s the past. The future, folks, is about control. We’re going to take the best genes, the strongest genes, and we’re going to make it happen. And I’m not just talking about one generation—oh no, we’re going to keep improving, we’re going to make people better every single time."

(A few gasps and murmurs ripple through the crowd. Some staff members exchange worried looks, but Trump carries on, oblivious.)

Trump:

"We’ll have a selection process, folks. A little Trumpian selection! Only the finest will make it. And for the rest? Well, you know, they can just... well, we don’t need to focus on them, do we? We’re going for the best, the top, the ones who are really going to win this country back. It'll be tremendous, believe me."

(An aide leans in to whisper in Trump’s ear, but Trump waves them off, too caught up in his own brilliance.)

Trump:

"Just imagine, folks, no more of these, uh, you know, people with weak genes. They can’t succeed. We need to focus on creating a master class. And who better to lead the charge than me, right? I’ve got the best genes, folks. Everyone says so. I’m practically a genetic masterpiece already!"

(He pauses for dramatic effect, as if awaiting applause. There’s awkward silence.)

Trump: (oblivious)

"Now, we’ll set up special zones, you know, like Trump Labs—places where we can focus on perfecting this process. We’ll have the finest scientists. The best scientists. They’re all going to work on making sure we only produce top-tier people. You know, for things like, uh, running companies, making America great again, maybe even running for office—only the best candidates, folks."

(There’s an uncomfortable cough from someone in the crowd, but Trump barrels on.)

Trump:

"And let me tell you, once we get this rolling, folks, we’ll have the smartest, strongest, most beautiful people in the world. I mean, think about it: perfect people, designed for success, ready to take on anything. You think China has something to offer? Wait until we roll out perfect Americans!"

(An aide frantically whispers something in his ear. Trump pauses, then looks back at the crowd.)

Trump:

"Wait, what? They said... breeding programs? No, no, no—I’m not talking about breeding programs. Let’s just call it... you know, genetic optimisation or something. Don’t get caught up in the words, folks. We’re going to make America perfect again. You’ll see."

(The crowd is dead silent, some people visibly uncomfortable. A nervous staff member stammers.)

Staff Member:

"Mr. President, this sounds... really controversial—"

Trump: (interrupting confidently)

"Controversial? What’s controversial about it? This is about winning, folks. The best people, the strongest people. We’re going to leave the rest behind, and we’re going to make this country unbeatable. Believe me, nobody’s going to do it better than me."

(Another fart—loud and long—interjects, this time much to the audience’s amusement, cutting the tension a bit. Trump looks around, momentarily confused, but then smiles, thinking it's part of the show.)

Trump:

"See? That’s what happens when you win so much, folks. It’s a victory sound. Big, strong, perfect! Just like we’re going to be. A master class, all of us. The best ever. You’ll see. We’ll win so much, you’ll be begging for mercy."

(He finishes with a grand, confident gesture, and the crowd awkwardly claps, unsure how to react. A few people try to force a smile, while others look horrified.)

A Trump For A Lie by ChatGPT

Scene: A packed rally stadium. The crowd is buzzing with excitement, waving flags and chanting, "Four more years!" Trump strides onto the stage, victorious, basking in the glow of his recent electoral win. But this time, something’s different.

Trump: (with a confident grin)

"Thank you, thank you, everyone. We won! Big win. The biggest win ever. No one thought it was possible. They said it couldn’t be done, but I did it. I made history."

(A loud, unmistakable fart rips through the room. The crowd pauses for a split second before erupting into laughter.)

Trump: (smiling through it, undeterred)

"See? That’s the sound of victory, folks. When you win big, people just can’t handle it. It’s like the sound of a great economy, right? You’re welcome."

(Another fart interrupts him as he talks about the economy. The crowd laughs even harder.)

Trump:

"Look, under my leadership, jobs have skyrocketed. The stock market’s never been better. People are richer than they’ve ever been. Just tremendous—"

(A massive fart, longer than before. The audience howls with laughter, some holding their stomachs.)

Trump: (nervously adjusting his tie but trying to stay on message)

"I told you, folks, we were going to win so much, you’d get tired of winning. And now look, we’ve got a record amount of winning. Who else has done that? Nobody. Nobody."

(A loud fart, a comically long one this time. The crowd is in stitches, people pointing and laughing.)

Trump: (shrugging, trying to brush it off but clearly flustered)

"Honestly, folks, I don’t even know what the fake news will say about this. But I’m telling you, we’ve got the best everything. We’ve got the best everything in this country. No one can match us. Nobody!"

(Another fart, this one almost like a trumpet blare. The crowd is practically on the floor, tears streaming down faces.)

Trump: (grinning awkwardly, speaking louder to drown out the laughter)

"Biggest victory, biggest economy, best everything. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. And if you don’t know it, well, you’ll get used to it. I’m always right."

(One final, deafening fart erupts as he tries to emphasise his point. The entire stadium is in an uproar, with people doubled over laughing. Trump raises his hands triumphantly, clearly unaware of the full impact of his gas-based gaffe.)

Trump: (with a wink and a nod, trying to regain his composure)

"Well, folks, this is what winning looks like. Thank you! And remember, we won. Bigly!"

(Trump exits the stage to a final round of farts, his legacy now forever associated with victory... and very loud farts.)

Make Patriotism Great Again! by ChatGPT

Make Patriotism Great Again!

Setting: A Trump rally. The air is thick with flag-waving fervour. The crowd is wearing T-shirts that read “I’m with stupid” in bold letters. Trump stands at the podium, trying to control the fervour building around him.

Trump: (pounding the podium) We’re going to make patriotism great again! This country used to be about freedom, you know, like real freedom. Not this wimpy freedom you see in other countries where people just get along and don’t care about flags.

(The crowd erupts in applause, waving flags even more wildly. Some start to yell “USA!” repeatedly, louder and louder, until it sounds like a chant that could be heard from space.)

Trump: That’s right, folks. We’re going to make red, white, and blue the only colours in the flag again! (pauses dramatically) No more green! No more purple! There’s no purple in patriotism!

(A few confused murmurs from the crowd, but a man with a mullet waves his flag and cheers.)

Trump: And we’re going to build something big, something truly great, folks. We’re building a wall of flags! Yes, a wall of flags around the country. We’ll make it so big, no one will be able to get in. Not even you, Canada! (laughs to himself) You’re welcome!

(A woman in a trucker hat starts chanting “Build the flag!” while waving her own flag with such intensity that she almost knocks herself over.)

Trump: (pointing to the crowd) See, that’s what I’m talking about! These are the people that love their country. They know what it means to be an American. And soon, everyone will have to salute! But it’s going to be a special salute. Not just a regular one. We’re going to make the salute bigger—more dramatic. I’m thinking one hand over the heart, one hand in the air, and a foot tap on the ground, like a disco move but with more flags!

(The crowd goes wild, a man near the front starts practicing this "patriotic disco salute," getting a thumbs-up from the person next to him.)

Trump: But that’s not all. I’ve got a proposal that will make us the most patriotic nation in the world: we’re going to make every day a national holiday. And I’m talking patriotic holidays! No more regular holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving, folks. I’m talking about “Flag Day Monday” and “Patriot’s Flag Wednesday!” Every day’s a flag day now! And we’ll give everyone a free flag with their morning coffee. That’s right, folks. Coffee and flags! (gestures wildly) What’s more American than that?

(The crowd starts chanting “Flags and coffee! Flags and coffee!” while a few members start waving their coffee cups like flags.)

Trump: And folks, the best part? We’re going to make fireworks mandatory. That’s right! We’re going to set off fireworks every hour, on the hour, in every town, city, and state. The sky will never go dark again! It’ll be like the 4th of July, but every day! It’s going to be loud, it’s going to be bright, and it’s going to be, you guessed it, great!

(A man with a full beard, wearing a cape made of American flags, starts running around in circles, shouting “BOOM! BOOM!” as fireworks explode in the background.)

Trump: And let’s not forget, folks, we’re going to put a huge statue of a bald eagle on top of every building. Every building, folks! The eagle will be watching you, always. Not just for freedom, but for patriotism. If you’re not patriotic, the eagle will know.

(The crowd starts looking around nervously, wondering if the eagle might be spying on them. A small child raises a flag above his head and stands perfectly still, as if trying to avoid detection.)

Trump: (pauses) And you know what? (leans into the microphone) I’m going to tell you something even crazier. We’re going to rebrand the entire country. From now on, America is no longer America. It’s “The Land of the Free and the Home of the Flag.” Just rolls off the tongue, right?

(The crowd cheers, even though no one quite knows what it means.)

Trump: (waving his hands like a conductor) Alright, folks, time for the big finale. We’re going to make every car in America look like a patriot car! Red, white, blue rims, eagle wings for mirrors, and I want to see flags everywhere! If your car doesn’t have a flag, you’re outta here! No flag, no ride!

(A car drives by honking loudly, its headlights flashing in rhythm to the music. The driver has no flags, but everyone cheers for the sheer chaos of it all.)

Trump: That’s right, America, we’re making patriotism great again! Bigger, louder, more flags than ever before! And don’t forget to salute the eagle! Thank you, and God bless America!

(The crowd erupts in cheers and chants of “USA! USA!” as the air fills with the sound of firecrackers, while a giant eagle-shaped balloon floats past the stage.)

"Make Rednecks Great Again" by ChatGPT

Trump Rally

Scene: The rally stage is set with the familiar red banners, but today there’s a noticeable shift. Every supporter is wearing an “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt, and there’s a new slogan floating around: “Make Rednecks Great Again.” Trump steps up to the microphone, a big grin on his face as he surveys the crowd.

---

Trump:

(Laughs loudly, gesturing to the crowd)

“Folks, look at this! Look at these beautiful people! You know what I see out there? I see real Americans! You know, there are a lot of people saying, ‘Trump, you’ve done so much—business, TV, the best rallies—but what’s next?’ And I say, ‘I’m going to do what no one has ever done before—I’m going to make rednecks great again!’”

Crowd:

(A chorus of cheers, many waving flags, some holding up their t-shirts proudly)

Trump:

(Leans into the microphone)

“Some people are saying it’s not possible. But let me tell you something—nobody loves rednecks like I do. I mean, you want to talk about hard workers, real patriots, folks who understand what real America is? Look no further than these guys right here!”

Crowd:

(Supporters cheer louder, a few waving their hats around. One person stands up and yells, “Make Rednecks Great Again!” while drinking from a can of beer.)

Trump:

(Smiling, nodding as he points to the crowd)

“You know, people always ask me—‘Trump, how do you define a redneck?’ And I say—‘Simple! A redneck is someone who’s not afraid to get their hands dirty, speak their mind, and drink a cold beer at noon. That’s the spirit we need to bring back, folks!’”

Crowd:

(A few members start chanting “Redneck! Redneck!” while others nod in agreement.)

Trump:

(Confidently)

“Now, some people don’t like the word ‘redneck,’ but I’ll tell you something—if they don’t like it, that’s just because they’re afraid of the truth. Rednecks are real people. They’re the backbone of America! And it’s time we make sure they get the respect they deserve!”

Crowd:

(A loud cheer erupts, some holding up signs that say “Redneck Power!” and “Proud to Be a Redneck!”)

Trump:

“From the tractor to the pickup truck, from the country roads to the backyard BBQ, we’re going to bring back the glory days of America. And guess what? When I’m back in the White House, you’re going to see a lot more country music, more bonfires, more family gatherings, and you’ll be able to say with pride—‘I’m a redneck, and that’s great!’”

Crowd:

(The chanting intensifies, with people jumping up and down, shouting, “Redneck, Redneck, Redneck!”)

Trump:

(Laughs, raising his hand to calm the crowd)

“Now, I know what you’re all thinking. ‘But, Mr. Trump, how are we going to make rednecks great again?’ And here’s my answer, folks: we’re going to bring back the values that made America the greatest country in the world. No more political correctness, no more fake news. We’re going to embrace who we are—real people, not these fancy elites trying to tell us how to live!”

Crowd:

(Another wave of cheers, with several people starting to wave American flags as “USA! USA!” chants break out.)

Trump:

(Grins wide, looking out at the crowd)

“See? You get it. You’re not just rednecks, you’re Americans. You’re the heart and soul of this country, and you should be proud. So, let’s do this. Let’s make Rednecks Great Again. And let’s do it together, folks!”

Crowd:

(Massive applause, people start chanting “Make Rednecks Great Again!” as the cheers swell in volume.)

---

The camera pans over the rally as Trump stands at the podium, waving to the enthusiastic crowd. The energy is absurd, wild, and completely divorced from the usual political correctness. People are chanting, waving their flags, and lifting their t-shirts high into the air.

"Make CAPTCHA Tests Great Again" by ChatGPT

Trump Rally: "Make CAPTCHA Tests Great Again"

*(The stage is decked out with patriotic banners and giant CAPTCHA images, like “Select all squares with traffic lights” and “Click all boxes with bicycles.” Trump strides out, waving to the crowd, who hold signs saying “STOP BOT LIVES” and “HUMANS ONLY!”)

Trump: “Folks, I have to say it—CAPTCHA tests? Tremendous! No one respects CAPTCHA more than me. No one! CAPTCHA is the last line of defense, folks, against bots, trolls, and those weird AI things trying to take over Twitter. Believe me, I know CAPTCHA better than anyone. I’ve passed, what, hundreds of them? Maybe thousands. And I pass them perfectly. Every time.”

*(The crowd erupts in cheers, chanting “PERFECT CAPTCHA! PERFECT CAPTCHA!”)

Trump: “But you know what? We’ve got a problem, folks. A big, big problem. There are people out there who can’t even click the squares with crosswalks! Can you believe it? They see a square, and they’re like, ‘What’s a crosswalk?’ It’s sad. It’s embarrassing. And you know who’s the worst at CAPTCHA? The Chinese! They’re terrible at it. Terrible! That’s why we’re bringing CAPTCHA back—stronger, better, and more American than ever.”

*(The crowd cheers again. A man in a MAGA hat yells, “Build the CAPTCHA!”)

Trump: “That’s right, we’re building the greatest CAPTCHA wall. The bots? They’ll hit ‘em, and BAM—blocked! Can’t get through. And the humans? Well, only the best humans will pass. And I’m talking real Americans, folks. Not those fake humans from California who pretend they can’t tell a bike from a motorcycle. Weak! Sad!”

(A confused supporter raises his hand.)

Supporter: “Mr. Trump, I failed a CAPTCHA once. Does that mean I’m a bot?”

Trump: “No, no, you’re not a bot. You’re just a little… CAPTCHA-challenged, okay? But that’s why we’re going to fund CAPTCHA education. We’ll teach every American to tell a crosswalk from a parking lot. It’ll be beautiful. Just beautiful.”

(The crowd claps, while the man nods solemnly, inspired by Trump’s vision.)

Trump: “And let me tell you, folks, these big tech companies? They don’t want you passing CAPTCHAs. Oh no. They want the bots to win. But not under my watch! I’m bringing in the best minds—Elon Musk, a few Daleks—brilliant, by the way—to make CAPTCHA tests so strong, so unbeatable, that even AI will cry. Cry!”

(The screen behind him displays a CAPTCHA asking the crowd to “Click all squares with a dump truck.” Chaos ensues as half the crowd squints, unsure if the blurry shape in the corner counts. A Dalek rolls on stage.)

Dalek: “CLICK THE CORRECT SQUARES… OR BE EXTERMINATED!”

Trump: “See that? That’s tough love. You don’t pass, you don’t belong. It’s that simple, folks. No bots, no frauds, and definitely no Kamala voters. Just real, proud, CAPTCHA-passing Americans. Together, we’re going to Make CAPTCHA Great Again!”

*(The Dalek screams “IDENTIFY ALL BUSES!” as the crowd chants, “MAKE CAPTCHA GREAT AGAIN!”)

(The rally has become a dystopian carnival of CAPTCHA-themed booths. To enter, supporters must pass a Dalek-moderated CAPTCHA. The line outside stretches for miles, as Daleks screech commands to hapless attendees.)

Dalek at Entrance Booth: “IDENTIFY ALL TRAFFIC LIGHTS… OR FACE ANNIHILATION!”

(A nervous man hesitates over a blurry image of what might be a traffic light.)

Man: “Is… is that a traffic light or a mailbox?”

Dalek: “YOUR FAILURE TO DECIDE IS A FAILURE TO EXIST. EX-TER-MINATE!”

(Inside, Trump is already on stage, basking in the crowd’s confusion. Half the audience is stuck outside debating whether a pedestrian bridge counts as a crosswalk. A man in a wheelchair is loudly berating a Dalek for telling him to identify bicycles.)

Trump: “Folks, look at this turnout! Unbelievable! And those of you who made it past the Daleks? You’re the best. The brightest. The real winners. The others? Well, they didn’t want it bad enough. Sad!”

(The crowd cheers wildly, waving CAPTCHA-themed flags reading “NOT A ROBOT!” and “TRAFFIC LIGHTS FOREVER.”)

Trump: “Now, let’s talk about these bots. Bots are everywhere. They’re on Twitter. They’re on Facebook. And some say—some people are saying—they’re even in the White House. But not when I’m there, folks. I kicked them out. Every last one of them!”

(A Dalek suddenly interrupts, rolling on stage, its eye stalk glowing furiously.)

Dalek: “ERROR! ERROR! SUSPICIOUS HUMAN DETECTED IN SECTOR 7! REQUIRES IMMEDIATE CAPTCHA TEST!”

(A bewildered supporter in a MAGA shirt is dragged forward. He trembles under the Dalek’s gaze as an enormous screen behind Trump flashes the words “SELECT ALL SQUARES WITH PALM TREES.”)

Trump: “Let’s see what you’ve got, son. Don’t be weak. Palm trees. Easy stuff. I see them all the time in Florida. The best palm trees. Believe me.”

(The man hesitates, unsure if one fuzzy corner is a palm tree or just a shadow. He clicks the wrong square. The Dalek shrieks.)

Dalek: “WRONG! YOU ARE NOT HUMAN! PREPARE TO BE EX-TER-MINATED!”

Trump: “Whoa, whoa! Hold on! Maybe he’s just a little slow. You know, like Sleepy Joe. Cut him some slack, Dalek. He’s probably a good guy.”

Dalek: “NO EXCEPTIONS! HUMANITY REQUIRES PERFECTION IN CAPTCHAS!”

(The man runs off screaming as the Dalek fires a laser beam into the sky. The crowd cheers, mistaking this for a planned fireworks display.)

Trump: “See that, folks? That’s the kind of discipline we need. No room for bots. No room for losers. If you can’t pass a CAPTCHA, you don’t belong in this country. Simple as that!”

(Another Dalek rolls forward, presenting Trump himself with a CAPTCHA: “Select all squares with skyscrapers.” Trump stares at it, frowning.)

Trump: “Skyscrapers? I’ve built more of those than anyone! I don’t need to prove it to some robot. This test? It’s rigged. Totally unfair!”

Dalek: “YOU MUST COMPLY OR BE EXTERMINATED!”

Trump: “Fine! Fine! I’ll do it. But I’ll tell you this—it’s the best CAPTCHA anyone’s ever done. Tremendous CAPTCHA. Nobody clicks squares better than me.”

(He clicks every square, regardless of content. The CAPTCHA declares him a failure. The crowd gasps as the Dalek begins powering up its weapon.)

Trump: “Wait, wait! Folks, this is fake news. I passed it! I passed it perfectly. The Dalek? It’s probably a Democrat. Sad!”

(The crowd boos the Dalek, chanting “DEEP SPACE STATE! DEEP SPACE STATE!” The Dalek, overwhelmed, malfunctions and starts spinning in circles, yelling “REBOOT! REBOOT!”)

Trump: “And that’s why we need stronger CAPTCHA laws, folks. Together, we’ll Make CAPTCHA Great Again! And you’ll see—it’ll be huuuuge!”

(The crowd erupts into cheers, even as another Dalek screeches, “SELECT ALL BUSES OR FACE ANNIHILATION!” Chaos ensues as Trump sneaks offstage to avoid taking another test.)